Emptiness

Numb

A couple of months ago, I started to notice my feelings and question everything in life. It's been a difficult year. I just started high school, and my friends started to make new friends.

I noticed that I didn't feel, I just felt numb inside. At first, it hurt, I was confused and wasn't sure about everything. Now, that i've thought about it for over a few months, I started to accept the fact that I'm empty inside.

I tried to distract myself by reading, watching TV, drawing, and writing. It worked at first, but then I got bored and started to get into my feeling again. I know it's not good, but I just don't know how to deal with it just yet. I listen to music to try to get my feeling out. I have a lot of bottled up emotions that I have kept to myself for many years. Anger is trying to express itself, but I won't let it; I don't want to get angry at my family for no reason. I feel sad most of the time and when I don't I'm just numb. I want escape but there's this force that's holding me back and it's suffocating. There are chains keeping me at bay, and I don't know how to find the key, how to get free from them. I've lost myself and I don't think I can bring her back, but it's okay, I'll eventually find myself again but this time a newer me.

I haven't found a way just yet but I'll kept trying and getting back up again. I'll survive this suffocating air that surrounds me and finally be free from it. I'll take these chains off me, and free myself from them. I'll finally feel how freedom feels and that's when I'll know that i've finally found myself. Until then, I just have to wait and endure. 

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-about 318 words-

~Thanks for reading! I'm not 16 years old but I wanted to share this. :)~