-Beastie- James Potter

-14-

2:34
Karmen woke up with a start, her dark skin moist with sweat and her face with tears. She was at home, it wasn't really her home as that was Hogwarts, but the house she hated. Three more days till she left for Hogswarts. She had been having the nightmares more often now that she wasn't surrounded by her friends.

The messy hair girl closed her eyes tightly as the mental image of what happened to her friends in her nightmare came up.

She couldn't stop crying for the life of it.

So Karmen got up, staggering slightly as she did from the head rush, making her way to the built off bathroom. The door to the bathroom was inside her bedroom but it was big enough to be considered a regular bathroom.

There was a porcelain bathtub with a shower head and white curtain with small flowers that looked pressed into the fabric. A small cabinet above the sink pushed up against the wall and a toilet in the corner. It was nice having her own bathroom so she didn't have to share with the two others in her family.

Karmen knew she had depression. It had been going on for years.

It was obvious to her where as when she pushed it down and put a smile on her face when she was around others. She would never let her friends know what she wrong with her.

She was the rock for everyone around her.

Except for herself of course.

She started to stripe her pajamas, a pair of boxers she had stolen from Sirius at some point in their friendship and a sports bra as she didn't like wearing shirts to bed.

Once Karmen was naked, she turned her head to look at herself in the mirror. The growing bags under her eyes, the dulling color of her green orbs, the stretch marks on her tits and the self harm scars on her thighs.

Normally people cut themselves on there wrists but those people wanted people to see them and help them.

She didn't want help.

She helped others, she didn't need anyone to help her.

She kept telling herself that.

Karmen opened the cabinet and pulled out a small orange container with white pills inside that she had stolen from her mother. Anti-depressants.

The messy haired girl swallowed to of them and took a gulp of water from a cup she had off to the side before sluggishly walking over to the bathtub and stepped in, turning on the shower and letting it fall on her as she curled up into a ball in the corner of the tub. Karmen pulled her knees to her chest and sobbed into herself.

She was fine.

***

"Karmen? Karmen! Wake up!"

Karmen snapped out of whatever trance she was in and looked at Marlene, who had been snapping her fingers in front of her face to try and get her attention. "Yeah, what's up?"

"You totally spaced out for five minutes. Are you doin' ok?" Alice asked, who was sitting next to her.

Karmen thought for a second at what she was thinking about, what had happened at 2:34 in the morning three days ago, before giving her a no teeth smile and saying, "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."