Horns ✖

Memories [Pt. 2]

"Hey..." she looked into my eyes with a solemn gaze, "You look really tired."

"I'm fine, Livia."

"Are you sure?"

I sighed. Maybe I was lying a bit. Truth be told I was sleeping less and less now, and even when I found the chance to take a nap my brain riddled me with dark, hideous nightmares. Some were that of me falling. Others were carnivores attacks. And some were natural disasters, the events that went bump in the night. 

And Thistlehorn... I thought of him the most, even though a month had passed since his disappearance.

Or death. I wasn't so sure at this point.

I felt sick, weak, and extremely grumpy for the most part. Nothing made sense to me other than the need to watch the entire herd, and that left me more drained than I anticipated. Thistlehorn was right about one thing: I wasn't prepared for this. I guess that's why I feared it for the most part. But Livia believed in me.

Hopefully that was all the inspiration I needed to survive.

"Here," Livia nudged some greens over to me, "Eat. You should keep up your strength."

I reluctantly obeyed, lowering my head and began to chew upon the greens with a satisfied swallow. Even though they were quite common foods, they tasted oddly better than ever before, and I couldn't help myself from taking in another large gulp of the foliage.

"That's... good..."

"You must've been hungry..." Livia chuckled, licking my amber snout, "When'd you last eat?"

I gritted my beak and sighed shamefully.

"A while ago."

"Okay, yeah, you're stressing yourself way too much," she swallowed, shaking her head, "You should go eat. You've got to take care of yourself too!"

"The herd comes first, Livia."

"You last said family comes first."

I nodded weakly, "It does."

"And where are you in this... important hierarchy?"

I turned my head down and dug my horns on the ground, groaning in anguish, "I don't know. I just want everything and everyone safe."

Livia tilted her head to the left, staring at the eggs, then looked back at me, "Hey, Sillyhorns... you know I love you, right?"

I nodded.

"And as much as I adore your pride to take care of me and our future, I want you safe too. You care about all of us. I care about you. They..." She pointed to the eggs, "They need a father. They want someone special to look up to."

"I will be."

"I know. But we don't want to lose you either. I don't want to lose you. Please... for my sake... take your mind off this duty you carry. Be with me for the day, if you can. Please."

I closed my eyes and sighed. She was right about several factors, but part of me wanted to deny this level of importance I now carried. I didn't want to risk losing her, or the herd, to predators. And I didn't want anything else to go haywire.

Maybe that's the problem.

I feared nobody was safe, even at the safest of times. Given that this issue skyrocketed thereafter Thistlehorn's death, I didn't know how to best tame it other than follow Livia's orders. I rumbled, pressing against her flank and felt myself going limp.