broken souls of blame | mileven

chapter two

all you want is to have a last day but having people watch over you 24/7 because you're such a risk to yourself is not it.

and every time you close your eyes all you see is the damage that you caused to people's life's. all you see is your father laying on the ground dead with blood all over him and then all you see is a 17 year old boy run into the bathroom and cradle you as you bleed out on the floor.

and then you think about the tears you have made them waste on you and how if you worked harder at your punishments, everyone would live a better life.

no tears wasted and no pity too.

standing up, el leaves her barely touched plate behind. she runs out of the dining room and up to her room to grab her sketchbook.

once she had everything she needed, she ran downstairs to make a run for it.

they would know where she would be... after all, they always kept a close eye somehow.

//

"are you hungry? did your been eat? you can't run off like that, el. we were worried!" will exclaims.

"why are you acting like a father all of a sudden? i just went on a little walk." el says quietly.

"yeah for like 5 hours!" he exclaims, "i thought you ran away." his voice grows soft.

"how could i ever?" she asks. "but i'm sorry, really. just wanted some peace and quiet."

"okay but at least write a note next time. at least we would know you fell into a tantrum."

she rolls her eyes playfully, "yeah yeah." she walks to the kitchen where joyce was, "hi."

joyce turns around with a wide smile, "i knew you'd come back. did i make too much food this morning? was it too much for-"

"no." el cuts her off quickly, "i-it wasn't your fault, it was all mine. you were following the doctors orders to make me better."

"but if it was too much then we should just stop. stop till you feel like you could proceed." joyce says.

"t-then i want to stop b-because i- i-"

"el, you don't have to explain, i understand. it's okay, el. just tell me when you feel like you can try more." joyce says softly.

"okay. sorry for running away." she whispers.

"it's alright, you only went to the park to draw. anything new artworks?" joyce smiles as el nods and takes out her sketchbook.

"these are the little ducks i saw, aren't they just so cute?" el asks with a small giggle as joyce nods.

"you're getting so good at drawing. el, these are amazing." joyce gushes, flipping through the book as el blushes a bit, "t-thank you."

"do you want me to go get you some new pencils? i see you holding the same one everywhere you go." joyce suggests.

"it's fine, i can still use it." el smiles softly.

"okay but you need to tell me if you need some new resources though." joyce says.

"i will, i promise." el says quietly, "i'm gonna go get changed for dinner."

joyce nods and gives her a small smile as she turns around and walks out of the kitchen.

she walks upstairs and to her room, changing into some comfy clothes before walking downstairs for dinner.

"what are you doing?" she asks will who was looking through a stack of paper in his room.

"getting ready for school tomorrow." he says.

"it's 6 in the evening." she states as he shrugs, "so? i need to be prepared."

"suit yourself." she shrugs, jumping down the extra set of stairs.

"you need to be prepared too!" he shouts, "nu-uh!"

"yes-uh!" he yells, running down the stairs to catch up with her.

"el, you got to be prepared. it's your first time in a real high school." he says, "i know. i'm thinking of it as being in a crowed grocery store at all times." she says as he laughs, "i mean, you can put it that way."

"it's true, will." she says quietly as they sit down at the dinner table.

"right on time." joyce smiles, placing down the plates.

"ooh! mash potatoes!" will smiles widely, quickly grabbing some.

"that was mine." el gives him a playful glare.

"it's not fair that you get mash potatoes and i don't." he huffs.

"you're not the sick one here." she states with a small teasing smile.

"well then i guess i have to be sick." he plays along.

"will!" joyce scolds as they both laugh.

el liked when they occasionally joked about her trauma and sickness, somehow it didn't feel like they pity here.

"yeah will, why would you want to be sick?" el shakes her head in fake disbelief.

"oh shush." will shoves her lightly with a laugh.

"no you." she sticks her tongue out teasingly.

//

a/n: so the s4 teaser is making me question so many things 😳

and yes, i wrote this a long time ago so my a/n crap is diff