12 Rounds

Chapter Three

Each house Jax passed by was more of the same - some yards were lined with trees, others had a literal picket fence. They were all clean. All well-kept and cared for. Kids were playing basketball in their driveways and kicking soccer balls in their perfectly trimmed, emerald green yards. The fucking sun was shining, and a light breeze swept around his face.

If he had to pick anywhere for Ope's family to land, it would probably be some place like this.

Modesto was normal.

Modesto was safe.

And Modesto wasn't Charming.

And as he pulled his bike into the driveway, that old familiar shame crept across his chest. He should've made this drive weeks ago, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. Just couldn't muster up the courage to look her in the eye. She wasn't going to be happy to see him, and he deserved that. Hell, he'd be lucky if she didn't smash something over his head and then call the cops on him. He'd deserve that too.

But he owed it to them for what the club had put their family through - what they lost could never be replaced, but he had to do something. If things had been different, he knew Ope would've done the same for him.

So, with that in mind, Jax swallowed down that shame and that guilt, and rang the doorbell. This was the best he could do, and all he had to give her.

After a few moments, the door swung open, with his best friend's widow standing in the doorway. Her eyes widened with shock - obviously, he'd figured calling ahead of time would just make this worse for everyone - but Donna held her ground, gripping the doorknob so tightly her knuckles turned white.

Knowing he needed to make the first move here, Jax pressed a tight smile to his face and waved to her through the screen door.

"Hey, Don," he murmured hoarsely. "Can I come in?"

She stared him down, frozen at the front door, and then her lips curled into a slight snarl. "No, Jax. You can't come in."

He nodded immediately. If he was her, he wouldn't want him in the house either. He deserved that too.

"Okay," Jax nodded again, and he tried to smile again too but it hurt. "Look, Don -"

"Jax, you should leave. You really shouldn't be here right now."

He held up a hand, suddenly feeling a little desperate for her to hear him out. That wasn't fair to her either - she didn't owe him anything, especially not any amount of her time when his club had taken away what she was supposed to have with her husband and the father of her children.

"Hey, I know. I'm not tryin' to cause trouble or anything, and I know you don't want me here. I just needed to see you. Make sure you and the kids were doin' alright."

Donna's dark eyebrows lifted exasperatedly. "You wanted to make sure we were doing alright? How do you think we're doing?"

Jax swallowed hard, nodding again as he shoved his hands in his front pockets. Of course they weren't okay. Nothing was ever going to be okay or the same ever again. When a painfully familiar little voice called out to his mom from inside the house, Donna's eyes widened and she leaned back inside.

"Go find your sister, Kenny. I'll be there in a minute," Donna yelled back, and then she opened the screen door so she could step out onto the porch, shutting the front door behind her to block him from her children's view.

As much as he'd love to see Ellie and Kenny right now, Donna had every right to keep him and what he represented as far away from her kids as humanly possible. But he wasn't here to make anything harder or more painful for her. So, with that in mind, he reached inside the pocket of his hoodie for the white envelope he'd come here to give her.