All for you | Jesse Pinkman Fanfic

XXXII

"Listen, I think Natalie may have been poisoned, okay?" Jesse told them. 

"What?" I shouted, "Why would you think—"

"Just breathe son." My father instructed, both him and my mom standing up.

My father pulled me into a hug, and my mother had her hand on Jesse's arm, "Why would you think that hunny?"

"There's this stuff called ricin." He began saying and I felt like deer in headlights, frozen with fear. No fucking way would she be able to get her hands on that without 'help.' 

"Why the fuck would she have ricin in her system?" I asked him angrily, breaking away from my father's grasp. 

"What is ricin?" My father asked in confusion, "I've never heard of that."

"You need to tell the doctors about it." Jesse said, his voice faltering. He looked defeated. 

I grabbed him by his shirt, "How would you know? What the fuck did you?"

"Ma'am I'm going to have to ask you to leave." The nurse said, coming to stand beside me. "You're still shouting and now you're becoming quite physical—"

"Ma'am?" I said, eyeing her. "Do I look like a senior fucking citizen? My sister in there—"

"Hailey... I think it's best if you step outside again, okay?" My mom suggested. 

"Please Laura.. tell them! Okay? It's a guess but please... ricin." Jesse said and I let go of him.

"Walk with me," He said and grabbed my hand, leading me out of the waiting room.

"Talk now!" I demanded the moment we were outside, the wind blowing my hair in my face.

"Mr. White and I—"

"No," I spat, "No, No, No, No you didn't.... don't you dare say you both did something to her."

"We made a cigarette for... for someone and it had ricin in it... I made sure to always keep an eye on it—"

"I'm sorry... Hailey I never meant for any of this to happen." He said and pushed him harshly, my body trembling with rage.

"Oh, you're sorry." I laughed bitterly, my eyes glossy with tears. Then I pushed him again, gaining a shout from a bystander in the parking lot.

I turned to face them, "Didn't you hear? He's sorry—" Then I went and pushed him again, "He's sorry—" And again, "He's sorry."

Jesse didn't try and fight me off or tell me to stop, he just let him push him repeatedly.

"I'm going to fix this, Hailey, you know I'd never want this to happen." He told me and tried to reach out but I backed away. "Why Natalie? Huh, why not me?"

"I-I don't know... this is all my fault, I need to see him... I'm going to fix this."

"If anything happens to Natalie I hope you know that I will fucking kill him, I will make sure that he suffers and if you were in—"

"I would n-never." He stuttered, "I need to go find him... this is all because of Gus."

Jesse fumbled for his keys and rushed past me, "Please go back inside."

I didn't move, "DO IT!" He shouted and he jogged to his car.

'Who the fuck is Gus?' I questioned before stumbling inside, and running to the washroom and throwing up everything I've eaten in the past 24 hours.

I sat on the gross bathroom floor and just cried, not bothering to hide my sobs.

I knew the effects of ricin and that meant I'd be saying goodbye to my little sister, no matter how many times we've physically beaten each other up or cursed each other out I loved her with all my heart.

There have been so many good times with her, like Disney world when we were little, me buying her alcohol when I was of age, almost burning down the house trying to make cookies when we had the munchies at one in the morning.

This all could have been avoided if I just didn't love Jesse... if I wasn't always in over my fucking head.

I never believed in love at first sight or whatever bullshit they'd romanticize in books. But I believed that you could love a few people in your life as long as you were lucky enough. Jesse and I weren't perfect or even logical together but it seemed like our flaws were arranged in a way that hinged us together.

I thought about that stupid quote 'if you love someone set them free and if they come back to you they're yours. If they don't, they were never yours in the first place.' I've let Jesse go, and look where he is right now, back with me.