drown

log 6 - here for you

"BUT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!!!"

The tune stopped.

"I saw the news. I couldn't even come to the funeral... I've mourned for you!" I could feel it. There were tears flowing on my cheeks. It was so cold. Too cold.

"Pete, I miss you so much. Why did you have to go?" I can't hold it in. The tune played again as if trying to comfort me.

"It's alright. I'm here now! I mean... if I was able to hug you, I would! Hahaha!!" The voice from my TV was distorted but now I know. That laugh, it belonged to Peter. I want to open my mouth again and speak but I feel like if I did I won't be able to control myself. The tears are enough.

"I came here for you. I don't want you to suffer anymore. Please come with me, I'm begging."

There's too much confusion inside of me. I usually know what to do but right now, somehow, I don't feel like being rational. I guess that's just what happens when Peter's around.

"I think I remember now. That tune you're playing. I-Isn't that from Heavenly Taters?"

"WOW. Just now you got it? I'm actually pretty offended but since you're my best pal it's cool." I chuckled. He's still a ball of energy.

"We still have some time left but we should really hurry up, Trent!"

"What do you mean?"

"If you ever plan on coming with me today, we better do it before the sun rises. We still have some time to play but it would be really cool if you actually ascended!!"

I want to go. I want to go with Peter. If there was anyone who could at least give me a bit of happiness it would be him. I don't want to be alone anymore. Still, there's so much to be done. I am merely a cog and if I stop, what will happen to the others?

My pride cannot allow me to let go of the amount of work I've done and the sacrifices I've made to satisfy the people around me. Did it really even matter if anything made me happy? Did I even matter to anyone?

It's suffocating. "Peter, I'm suffocating."

"I'll help you. The Organization helped me achieve this. There's no need for you to be lonely anymore. You can stop. All you have to do is join me." There was a dissonance. Peter seemed very calm, almost sage-like.

I don't like being myself and no matter how much I change I never get satisfied. Nothing is for me. The price of being "me" is heavy and I often feel detached from here.