skin

as long as i'm skinny

Loletta's Pov:

I find myself eating snack after snack.

"Slow down" my mom says.

"I feel like every time I walk in here I see you eating" my dad says.

"Well I haven't actually eaten that much" I giggle.

Yes I have. I've eaten almost everything I could grab, they didn't need to know that though.I search up how to lose 30 pounds in just a few weeks so I wont have to worry about what people think of my body, just as long as i'm skinny right?

Just as long as i'm skinny, it doesn't matter how I get there, just as long as i'm skinny.

I need a perfect body like everyone on TikTok and Instagram post.

So I get down to my last conclusion. Don't. Eat. Whatever you do, don't eat, I repeated in my head.

I started off by drinking a lot of water, then when I got hungry and couldn't stop thinking about food I just chewed on sugar free gum hoping it would help.

It did.

I also added working out until I couldn't anymore everyday, that way I could get skinny even faster, I did multiple cardio workouts, put on layers of long sleeve shirts, layers of leggings, and layers of socks, so I would sweat more, I could get skinny faster.

As long as i'm skinny, I don't care what I do to get there, as long as i'm skinny.

everyday was the same. I would starve myself, then workout until I felt like collapsing on the hard ground.

I finally dropped 30 pounds. But it wasn't enough. I. Had. To. Drop. One. More. Pound. I said over and over again as I lost weight. everyday going on the scale to see if I had lost weight.

My daily body checks in the mirror were getting worse. I did it every time I passed a mirror.But I just looked fat. even though on the inside I knew I was becoming anorexic, I didn't care. my hair started coming out in clumps, I didn't care. I was forcing myself to throw up, I didn't care.

But all that brought me here.

At the hospital, where all of the sudden everyone cared about my health, and me eating.

Now I just lay there hopelessly dying, because I. Didn't. Eat.

As long as i'm skinny, I don't care what I do to get there, as long as i'm skinny.