The Phoenix: I always am...

Episode Ninety-Nine

Knowing that the idea of you choosing to die rather than get help is eating him up inside you can see it in his eyes you think of something to distract him, "hey dad guess what i just realised?" going along with it Tony responds saying "what's that y/n?" answering his question you say to him "me and mum will have both died saving your old ass but with one minor difference this time." Curious Tony asks you "what's the difference this time?" which you then answer this question saying that "i outdid mum. I took two bullets for you. She only took one but I would do it all again." Understanding you're just trying to make him feel better Tony tries to show you a sympathetic smile but can't hold it for long because he can't be supportive or understand why you're choosing to die. "Y/N you shouldn't have taken any bullets for me I'm your dad I'm supposed to be protecting you not the other way around!" not able to take him seriously you say to Tony "well it's too late to complain about it I've already done it now. See i told you Wanda I'd take a bullet for any of you though when i said that i was hoping it would have happened later in life not this soon." Siding with Tony but more discreetly Wanda says to you "not really sure if being shot twice is something that you want to be proud about." Not really helping Natasha adds at the end of what Wanda just said, "actually three times. Y/N jumped in front of a bullet for me previously today." Looking up at Natasha you smile at her with your eyes even though your lips are still, you know that this isn't the first time you've looked at her like this before as if this is your past you saying goodbye to the Natasha that they once knew. And you know it is because rather than looking away or ignoring it you watch as a smile spreads across her face as she looks at you she doesn't even try to hide it from you when normally she would.

And with that smile on your face you can't help but make a little comment knowing very well it won't make Tony any happier but you're dying so you don't care as you say "I'm everyone's bulletproof vest today." A chuckle at the volume of a whisper leaves Natasha just before she says "yes... I suppose you are." Just as you suspected Tony can't hear anymore and tell you that "we have to get you to the jet i can't see you like this!" he goes to take you from Natasha's cradle but you're quick to refuse his demand. You start to feel the tightness in your chest as your body tries to keep you breathing letting you know that it's not long now so to help ease your mind of useless worrying about them and how they'll be when the time comes because it will you know now is the time to start saying goodbye, so you weakly hold your hand out towards Tony which he closes the distance as he accepts your hand. "dad..." in the tone of your voice he knows now... he knows that it's too late to move you or to try and heal you so to help you now Tony calmly says "I'm here y/n how are you feeling?" letting out a weak laugh a few small traces of blood start to fall from the corner of your mouth turning your white smile into a pale red. "I thought you weren't going to ask me that?" to which Tony says "that was a while back i didn't actually mean it." Even though you're feeling horrible and in pain you don't want him to think that in your final moments you were suffering and in pain so you do what you do best and lie to him. "I'm okay dad, don't worry about me." Wiping a tear from his face Tony then says "I'm always going to worry." To help try and make him laugh slightly because any topic about his age normally would make him laugh even the tiniest bit you say to him, "dad you're already old. So you need to try and not worry because you'll only get more wrinkles to your collection at least after today. I'll be one less thing to stop worrying about so your wrinkle number should slow right back down. Speaking of when I go dad, can you promise me you'll look after your old self when I'm gone?" upset by that Tony says "no y/n-" As hard as you've tried not to, you can't help but let a tear fall from your face and because of that you feel your voice starting to tremble but that doesn't stop you from talking. 

If anything it makes you more determined to say what you need to as the clock begins to tick in the distance. Cutting him off because you haven't got time to listen to any of his excuses you just have to cut him off because you might not have the time you need to get the rest of what you want to say off your chest. "...just dad please?" looking into your eyes he can see that this isn't a fight he will win with you and that only refusing or accepting your promise will only hurt you so he will give you the answer after. "I promise." He plants a kiss on your hand, sealing his promise to you, "I promise you y/n." Hearing that takes only a little of the weight of your shoulders or your chest anyways with your dad being the first to accept your promise, your version of a goodbye. You advert your eyes away from him and onto Wanda. "Wanda?" knowing it's her turn now Tony takes his hand out of your grasp so that wanda can hold onto you. "I'm here y/n what do you need?" Your voice now being slightly softer but clear enough still to hear you tell her "I need you to promise me you'll do the same that you'll look after yourself and fall in love with someone new and just move on with your life." With already lost people in her past she tries to answer the question as best and as honestly as she can, "I'll try..." You look up at Natasha again not able to completely understand what Wanda just said to you in hopes that she might be able to help you. "A try is close to a yes isn't it?" with a debating smile Natasha takes the decision to say "slightly." As she knows that's the answer you want even if it's not the right one.