Abditory

i

The rain was pelting down harder but I couldn't move. Everything around was turning black, except him. Why him of all people? Of course, it wouldn't be impossible to just spew out what I felt but I could never do that. Ever. I was not ready, don't know when I will ever be. But it hurt. The sinking in my chest increased a hundred folds.

I was soaked completely and I just knew that I had a cold coming my way. I was resistant to anything. The list of my allergies was proof. Mom had given me an earful when I soaked everything around me but it didn't last long, it never does.

You up? My phone pinged with a message. I knew what was coming when I saw his name. My hesitant voice through call went unnoticed as his excited squeal took over. 'We kissed! Like lip to lip, kiss!' As much as I tried to tell myself that I would get over it, I didn't. It was all a waste. I made a joke to ease things for myself and listened as he rambled about how great everything on the date was. It was everything he wanted as his dream date. If I thought my chest couldn't hurt more, I thought wrong. Because there was about the whole world sitting on my chest, weighing it down. I made an excuse and cut the call when I felt tears brimming my eyes.

The next day in class, he sat beside me asking if everything was okay with my mom. I was confused for a second before the realization took over. "Yeah, sorry for ending the call so abruptly", I slipped a small smile in. "Good because I was kinda hoping that you would come to this party with me", he grinned as he showed his invitation text to me. "Why couldn't your date go?", I spit out. It was meant to be harsh and I expected him to ask why I was putting the question in that tone but instead, he blushed crimson. "He has a shift, I asked", our attention was spanned back to the front of the room when the professor entered.

Of course, I was his second choice. Why would he ask his friend to accompany him to a party, anyway? That would be a significant other's job. So, it made sense that he had asked him first but everything could make sense and fit into a perfect puzzle all that it could want, it wouldn't make the pain in my chest stop. When did I start having heartaches of all things? Oh yeah, when I stupidly fell for my best friend.