The Humdrum Life of a Hero

Chapter 30.

But then it hits me; this isn't about the audience.

This is about Jay. More specifically, what he thinks of me.

I'm so nervous to go down there because I don't want Jay to see me any differently. Just because I put on a dress and heels and had my hair and make-up done doesn't change who I am. I don't want him to like this side of me more than how he usually sees me, which is in sweats and a t-shirt, or a raggedy pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. I'm afraid of raising his expectations, and me not being able to meet those raised expectations. I'm afraid he'll fall out of love with the me he's known for almost three months and fall in love with this well-dressed, beautified version of me that will only exist for tonight. I'm afraid he'll come to his senses and realize I'm not the girl he usually dates. In fact, I'm the exact opposite of the girl he usually dates.

I'm afraid that this weird, yet wonderful fantasy world I'm living in could come crashing down the moment he sees me.

One of the doormen coughs, bringing me to my senses and making me realize how much time I've let slip by. It's now or never, and for the moment, I'm okay with it being now. So, I poise myself in front of the double-doors, and, taking their cue, the two doormen swing open the doors. I take that tentative first step, hesitating with each inch.

But once I see Jay standing with that beautiful smirk on his face at the end of the stairs, my tentativeness melts away, leaving me with pure confidence. I lightly grip a bit of fabric on my dress to hold it up so I can walk, and so I don't look ridiculously with my hands all willy-nilly, and start the trek downward. It's slow-going as I am not the best at navigating in heels, and the stairs are definitely complicating that further.

On the last step, Jay holds out his hand. Accepting, I feel the clammyness of his hands. Why is he nervous? He's not the one who was just having a minor freak-out upstairs.

Finally on the ground, I give him a good once-over. He wore everything I had set out for him, and my oh my does he look dashing. He smells good, too. Well, I mean he always smells good, never bad, but he must've put on some cologne because he has that vague smell of maybe a Hollister or an Abercrombie. I run my free hand over the lapel of his snug-fitting suit jacket, sighing because I would rather be touching what's underneath.

Jay snatches back my attention by placing a finger under my chin, lifting my head ever slightly in his direction. I can see his eyes becoming the blue that I seem to cause every time I'm in his presence, which is thrilling. Then, our eyes lock, and Jay smiles, "You look beautiful, Sarah."

I want to say, "I know. Everyone's told me that today," but I know he would not be as amused as I would be, so instead I smile back at him and say, "You don't look so bad yourself."

He rolls his eyes and drops the finger, rather touching his fingers to my waist. "Can you just not have a sarcastic retort for once and just take my heartfelt compliment?"

He begins to lead me toward the edge of the dancefloor. A relatively slow ballad comes on, and Jay and I begin dancing like we did the other night in my room. If it weren't for the fancy clothes and two hundred of our closest classmates, it would be exactly like it was in my room. When we're arm in arm, I lean in to whisper, "Maybe."

I feel him smirk against my ear when he responds, "God, you're annoying."

"Not as annoying as you." I make sure to press my lips to his ear. If he's going to call me annoying, I might as well live up to it. And just to take it a step farther, I unwrap a hand from around his neck and snake it inside of his jacket, cruelly toying with the buttons on his dress-shirt.

Jay groans against my ear, but he extracts his revenge just as well. Starting at my ear and winding down my neck, he plants kisses along the trail. For added measure, I pop one button, and partially slide a few fingers against his hot skin. He shivers underneath my touch.