Ang Tayo (Spin the bottle-The Novel)

Kabanata 1

Mag-uumaga na nang natapos ko ang mga lectures ko. Hinigop ko ang natitirang kape sa tumbler ko at nag-stretch. Nagdarasal na masurvive ko ang araw na ito. Another day of stressful but fulfilling day.

I'm Lara Abigael Martinez, taking 6-year medicine course. Wala ng pre-med. Good thing is, tuloy-tuloy siya, but limited ang schools na offering ng ganito. So I have to go to Makati where Howard University College of Medicine is located, which is one of the schools na offering ng ganitong accelerated medicine course. I have a roommate but she is taking a different course from mine. She's from College of Architecture, a building away from ours. Magkaibang mundo pero parehas busy. We barely even talk.

Tumayo ako sa aking study space at napatalon ng biglang tumunog ang alarm ko. Kinuha ko ang towel na nakasabit sa higaan ko at dumiretso sa bathroom. I'm going to take a bath first before ako iidlip. I have to take a nap, kung hindi sabog ako nito mamaya.

After I showered, thanking na mayroong heater sa shower to ease up my tense muscles, kinuha ko ang cellphone ko at binasa ang chat ni Mama."Lara, sa sabado ba ang uwi mo sa bahay?" I replied, "Opo. Kapag natapos ko po ang mga need ko po ipasa by friday,"

I'm living in a dormitory. I plan to come home every semester break. Mag-two weeks narin when I reside here, and when Laurence and I broke up. O masasabi ko bang nag-break kami? Things are never easy for me. We do not know how things ended, and we really never had a closure. The last message I got from him is when he told me his mom died and he wasn't there on her last hours. That was it. I kind of put the blame on me kasi nagpahatid pa ako sa kanya to dorm. I messaged him, I was so sorry. Pero wala akong natanggap na message after that.

Huminga ako ng malalim. This would be the last day I would message him a good morning. And I promise myself I would move on. How can one just move on easily? It's freaking hard and hurts when the one you loved the most is suddenly out of reach—ghosted you. Hindi ko ba alam. Hindi ko talaga alam. I am too busy to fathom things. Siguro 'pag nakahinga ako sa walang katapusan na hell week na 'to, tsaka ko lang ma-rearealize na wala na talaga siya. I am in sort of denial and in bargaining. I'm so miss him.

Pero wala naman akong magagawa nung bigla siyang hindi nagparamdam. I wasn't there on his hardest days. I wasn't there to comfort him and give him a hug. I know how it feels like to lose a loved-one. I know how heart breaking it is. And I couldn't even go to him dahil sa studies ko. I am barely coping up!

"Good morning, L. I just finished what I ought to do. How are you doing? Miss na kita." I deleted this one, and tried to text him a simple message. "Good morning, L. Hope you are doing well."

Pagkatapos kong magreply at magtext ay dumiresto ako sa higaan. Huminga ako ng malalim at nag-set ng alarm ng 7am. Two hours before my 1st subject. Sa sobrang pagod ko ay agad akong dinapuan ng antok kahit na basang-basa pa ang buhok ko.

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Napatalon ako at tumayo bigla sa pagkakahiga. Shocks! Anong oras na ba? Binuksan ko ang phone ko at nakitang 6:55 am na. Mas nauna pa ako sa alarm ko. Akala ko late na ako! Tumayo ako at naghilamos muli ng mukha. Nag-toothbrush at nagtimpla muli ng kape. Sinalin ko ito sa tumbler kong aking mahal at nagmake-up ng light. Dadaan ako saglit sa subway para bumili ng sandwich. 3 hours ang lecture ko, at pakiramdam ko, 'di ko masusurvive ito ng walang breakfast. Kumuha ako ng mga snacks from pantry at inilagay iyon sa bag ko.

Pagkatapos kong makabili ng breakfast ko ay pumunta ako sa garden lounge ng university namin. I tied my hair and kinuha ang mga transes ko. My first subject is walang kamatayang Human Anatomy. I plugged in my earphones and played lofi. Upbeat ang need ko para magising ako, wala akong time mag-drama today—wala akong time to think about things to break my heart. And this had me hold on for 2 weeks, without shedding a tear. Proud pa ako 'no?