Akimbo ✓

16 : Faced

Mr. Mersden probably knew Drayden was trying to prove a point and not actually asking him, so he did not answer.

Thrill felt the familiar sting of tears in his eyes but he blinked them away. "I know," he said, his voice low and gaze avoiding Drayden. "But there has to be another way."

"There isn't," Mr. Mersden replied, his voice calm. "They have a solid case built against us and if we don't use today's incident to get the case tilted towards us, we're going to be in serious trouble. I understand what you're trying to say, Thrill, but–"

"No, you don't!" Thrill shouted before he could help himself. "You don't understand. None of you do. You don't understand what it's like to be outed by someone else without consent. Ignatius just did something stupid, he was drunk! What kind of people will we be if we take advantage of that?"

"Thrill–" Emily began, but Thrill did not let her continue.

"His family is not like ours," he told his adoptive mother. If there was anyone in that room full of people who was most likely to understand, it was her. "His mother would kill him, maybe even literally. Do you want that kind of blood on your hands?" He asked Quinn and Mr. Mersden. "Do you?"

"Yes," Drayden answered without hesitation. Emily gaped at him, but no one else reacted. "Yes," he repeated, "if it means keeping you out of jail."

Thrill should have seen this coming. Everyone called Drayden ruthless for a reason; when it came to his family, he was blind to the considerations of everyone else. "I won't let you do it," Thrill replied, standing his ground.

Drayden got to his feet and, in a flurry of rage, he walked up to Thrill and caught his arm. Searing pain shot through his wounds but Thrill managed to gulp it down. He did not protest either as Drayden dragged him out of the lounge and led him into an empty room at the end of the corridor.

"What is wrong with you?" Drayden growled once the two of them were alone.

Thrill tried to focus on his wrist that was throbbing in pain. "What is wrong with you?" he countered.

Drayden threw Thrill's arm away and took a step back. "Why are you being like this?"

It was then that Thrill understood what was wrong with Drayden. This was the first time ever that Thrill had explicitly gone against him, and Drayden, who was used to making people do his bidding, was taken aback by it. Thrill was too, to be honest. He had always been mindful of Drayden's feelings so he never went against him, least of all, in front of outsiders. "I'm sorry," Thrill said, though he wasn't sure whether he actually meant it. "But I can't do this to Ignatius."

"Why do you care about him?" Drayden countered without missing a beat.

"He... he's not a bad guy, Dray."

"How do you know that?" There was a stretch of silence. "You went after him today, didn't you? You lied to me."

"I had to! He was bleeding, from the blow that you landed on him! I was trying to keep you out of trouble."

"Oh please," Drayden scoffed. "Don't put this on me. You went after him because that's what you do. You put your life on the line for the thrill of it," he put air quotes around the word thrill, "without caring about how the rest of us would feel."

That caught Thrill off guard. He looked down at his feet. "That's not true," he muttered.

"Aren't you tired, Mithril?" Drayden said. "Because I am. I'm so fucking tired of cleaning your messes all the time–"

"You clean my messes, Dray?" Thrill snapped, looking Drayden dead in the eye. "That's funny."

There was a strange fire in Drayden's eyes. "Mithril," he warned.

"What? Scared, are you? That I'm going to bring it up?"

Drayden said nothing but it was clear on his face that Thrill was right – he was scared.

Thrill did not care though. The dam had broken and there was no going back now. "Where were you the last time I needed you?" he said, his voice cracking. No answer came so he continued, "You weren't there to clean my mess then, were you? You're only trying to help me now because you are safe."

"Mithril!" Drayden hissed, but his voice was low and quivering at the edges. "Don't."

That was all Thrill needed to carry on. "You knew, didn't you?" Drayden was looking away from him, so Thrill grabbed him by the shirt in a vain, desperate attempt to make Drayden look at him. He wanted Drayden to look at him, but the boy in front it him refused to meet his eyes.

"You knew I was in love with you," Thrill said, feeling like an impossible knot had finally come loose in his chest. Though it hurt and he felt tears trickling down his cheeks, it somehow felt easier to breathe.

He had expected Drayden to flinch on hearing his words, but Drayden's impossible mask was on, not betraying a single emotion.

Thrill, on the other hand, was close to a breakdown. His hands were shaking, his throat was aching and the old, familiar pain returned to tug at his heart. "I know I shouldn't have kissed you," he said. It was taking him all his strength to not break into sobs. "I know it was wrong and not a day goes by when I don't regret it. But you, Dray? You simply pretended like it never happened. Well, it happened!" Thrill cried. "I wanted you to yell at him, to scold me, to hit me. I wanted you to throw me out of the house. I wanted you to tell me 'No, Mithril', but you did not do anything! Do you know how much that hurt? What did you think was going to happen? WE LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE!" Thrill was shouting by then, but he did not care. "I know it was wrong, but I just wanted you to tell me that. Was that... was that too much to ask?" Thrill fisted his fingers around the collar of Drayden's shirt as he finally broke down into sobs.

Drayden looked away from him and said nothing and did nothing.

"It hurts so fucking much, Dray, I can't do it anymore." Thrill was no longer aware of what he was doing. Perhaps he was crying, or perhaps he was begging. Or maybe he was regretting not having done this earlier. "Why didn't you say anything? I just wanted you to say something." He shoved at Drayden's chest and stumbled back, anger replacing his sadness. The realisation of why they were having this conversation in the first place returned to Thrill. "You're a fucking coward, Drayden. So stop trying to act like you care."

Without waiting for a response, Thrill marched past Drayden, opened the door and walked out of the room. He ran through the corridor, towards the garage, and got into his car. He did not want to pause to think about what he had done, or wait for the feelings to come crush his spine. He wiped his tears at the back of his sleeve, turned on the engine and slammed his feet onto the accelerator.

~~~~~~

A/n

Because a story might look different from the pov of a writer and that of a reader, I want to know what y'all think. Tell me – you understand that it's not "incest", right? I mean that's the whole point – it's not actually incest but society thinks it to be so, which makes Thrill feel disgusted at himself (while all he did was fall in love with his best friend). We'll delve more into why Thrill fell for Drayden, later in the story, but I still want your opinions on this.

(Again I'm asking because *cough* I've been accused of writing "incest". Yeah lol, who would've thought this story is so controversial? Certainly not me *facepalm*)