For The Sake of Revenge

III~Chapter 2: Reliving the Woes

Ivar's gaze focused back on Yasmeen. She looked at him, still hesitant before she began.

"I dreamed of that time where you stabbed me in the ear. The very first time we met," Ivar flinched in surprise. It seemed like a distant memory, the time where Yasmeen was his slave. He had barely revisted that moment again, or even thought to apologize for it. Ivar guiltily realized that he just...figured Yasmeen forgave everything once she accepted his suit.

And in Ivar's mind, forgiving is forgetting. That is why he was never so quick to forgive, because his memory was long and tenacious. Yasmeen was just...unique. She had her own set of rules that she followed, with her own logic, that no one else, not even Ivar, could understand.

"And that scared you?" Ivar forced himself to continue. Yasmeen shrugged, seeming helpless. She slowly sat up on the bed and Ivar followed suit. Now they were both on their knees, facing eachther. Yasmeen was softly illuminated in the light of the dying embers that definitly needed stoking. Ivar was appalled by how much he overlooked when trying to understand Yasmeen. She was just so...simple and easy to be around. She never demanded much, she wasn't high-maintenance, she was able to get around on her own. Her thought process was straight forward; sunshine and flowers. Not a single complicated thought in that head of hers outside of her own troubles.

"How long have you been dreaming about this?"

"This is the first time that I can remember," she finally admitted, quietly, not meeting his eyes. Ivar didn't like that. He didn't like that there were all these apprehensions that she had towards him, and all of them were embarrassingly and disappointingly well-founded.

"I never did apologize for that time did I?" Ivar forced a hollow laugh. It sounded terrible.

"No," she agreed.

"Nor for the other times I was an ass?"

"Not really," she confirmed and Ivar closed his eyes.

"Is it too late to apologize?" He genuinely regretted not holding himself accountable. Even if the roles were different then, and he had every right to do what he did, it didn't make it right that he never properly apologized.

"No," she said, finally meeting his eyes with her own, teary ones. It looked like little diamonds were embedded in her eyes. She was gorgeous. "It's never too late to do what is right."

Ivar slowly lifted his hands up to her jaw, stroking her there. She had a little scar there. It was hardly noticeable. And Ivar only knew it was there because his lips were more sensetive than his callused fingertips so when he kissed her there, he could feel it. He knew were all her little scars and beauty marks were.

"Now?"

"Any time," her eyes were hooded but bright, looking at him as though he was a maiden's fantasy. He certainly was not. He was objectively the most attractive and built of his brothers. But his reputation preceeded him and the maidens and their crones were warned away from him. Not to mention, his youth-affliction made it difficult to move past the unfounded stigma of his presumed impotency. Ivar made no efforts to hide his true nature. The last woman he was with was so repulsed by his nature and appearence that she had snivelled up to Ubbe and now she fucks two of his brothers. Well, one. Hvitserk now has Millicent, Yasmeens former slave, though she might deny it. Still, anyone was better than Ubbe's heifer, Margarethe.

"I am sorry," Ivar finally said. He found it was not difficult to say these words to Yasmeen.

Ivar had hardly ever apologized in his childhood. He grew up as a spoiled brat and never apologized to those he had wronged. It didn't help that he felt no remorse. In that sense, his father had put some humanity back in Ivar as he never coddeled Ivar and always harshly reprimanded him for his misgivings. He had always forced Ivar to apologize and humble himself. It annoyed Ivar in the past, but now, Ivar found that he really was a prat of a child. Aslaug coddled him too much. So as he grew, he modelled his behaviour till he was beyond reproach. He only wronged those who deserved it and when he did wrong them, there was no levity to seek from Ivar.