You Rock My Heart

I trust you

"I actually have something I want to tell you."

"Yeah of course, go ahead," Hongjoong said, his eyes completely focused on Seonghwa.

"When I said I'd been down this road before, I meant it. When I was in high school, I had just gotten an internship in the career I have now and it was at a really good company. I was all set to get into a good program and had my whole future set out. But that was when I met my first boyfriend. Well—my only boyfriend. I fell hard for him and I totally lost track of my work and began blowing off everyone I cared about and everything that mattered to me, and I ended up losing the internship. It took losing my whole future for me to wake up and realize it was toxic. He hadn't ever taken an interest in my career and when I came to him crying that I lost everything he pretty much just laughed at me and told me it wasn't a big deal. I ended up breaking up with him and from then on I've had to work twice as hard to get my plan back and secure my dream career. I'm in the final stages now and I don't have the liberty to risk it all by following my untrustworthy heart, so—I don't think we can see each other."

Hongjoong realized how honest Seonghwa was being and could tell he hadn't expected to share every detail of the story. Seonghwa curled his knees into his chest and looked at the ground. Hongjoong didn't know how to process this information.

"Hwa, I'm really sorry you had to go through that. I know you won't believe me but it's really not your fault. He was a terrible guy and you deserved so much better than him. He watched your dreams slip away and he didn't help you. You were just a teenager in life, don't blame yourself."

"But who's to say it wouldn't happen again? I can tell my feelings for you are strong. I've fallen really hard Hongjoong. Every day since we stopped talking I've opened your account and hovered my finger above the unblock button. I wanted to talk to you so bad. I missed you and I felt horrible. But I can't risk losing my focus when I'm so close."

"You were just a teen Seonghwa. So what if you were a bit lovestruck?"

"If I stop holding myself back and go to you, who's to say it won't happen again?"

"I say it won't."

"How could you know?"

"Because you'll have me. You know me Hwa, I respect that your career is incredibly important and so is mine. You know I wouldn't put you at risk. You had a bad experience with a horrible person but I'm not that guy. I'm so much more and I want to show you what it is to truly be loved. No matter what you tell yourself, you deserve the world, and I'm going to do everything in my power to give it to you."

Hongjoong felt Seonghwa's stare on him and he felt his ears burn as he mustered a shy smile and looked away. He heard the water shift and looked back just as a warm hand grabbed the back of his head and he was pulled into a deep kiss. Seonghwa's lips were thick and soft and felt pillowy against his mouth. He let his eyes shut and wrapped his hands behind Seonghwa's firm yet delicate shoulders and sank into the kiss. Soon he felt Seonghwa's tongue pushing its way in, and Hongjoong didn't resist. The kiss lasted for a few minutes before Seonghwa gently pulled away, resting his forehead on Hongjoong's, looking into his eyes.

"I think I'm in love with you," Seonghwa said softly.

"I think I am too," Hongjoong smiled.

"I'm done letting my fear get the best of me and I'm going to let it happen. Let us happen."

"I won't let you down. I promise. You can trust me to treat you right."

Hongjoong wrapped his legs around Seonghwa and pulled himself into a tight embrace, resting his chin on Seonghwa's shoulder. Seonghwa encompassed him with his long arms and ran his gentle fingers through Hongjoong's wet hair.

"I trust you."