"Perfectly imperfect" (Alycia Debnam-Carey/ You)

Chapter 7

My mind was something I couldn't control.

As I wrote the ten daily pages of my book, I thought that I needed to write even paragraphs, and that each line must have an odd number of words. If I didn't, I told myself that I wouldn't be successful, although it's not as if this strategy had worked for me on previous occasions.

When my free time was over and my routine to sleep began, my mind said that I should brush my teeth twice, because otherwise they would not be perfectly clean. I had to check the locks twice, turn off the lights five times, go back to the locks, grab a book, read twenty pages, and finally go back to the lights.

However, my torture did not end there.

When I closed my eyes, my mind remembered my day and I asked myself if it would be beneficial to do things one more time.

I never really rested.

During christmas day things were even worse, and such as my hatred towards it that, if I had been given the choice between wearing my orange uniform all my life or celebrating Christmas, I would hae choosing the uniform.

I hate orange, it's such an ugly color.

That day, all of the sudden, everything lost its order. There was a Santa Claus in every street, clients prefered to spen their day with their families, I had to wear a stupid red hat and Hailee changed the restaurant's menu.

Everything became chaos inside my head and it didn't matter the times I brushed my teeth, or closed my door, or turned my lights off, it wasn't enough.

"If you feel ucomfortable you can go Y/N" My boss reminded me after I said hi three times, eventhough I needed to do it many more times. "... I know you have a book you need to finish and that this day is one of your least favourites"

I nodded at her words, but there was no way I would go. Being at home would only make me feel worse.

"Is Alycia coming today?" Hailee asked curious. She was smiling, which wasn't strange in her, but I had seen that spark in her eyes in Maia's eyes when she told me that Alycia liked me.

I hadn't forgotten that little detail, of course. Actually, her words were repeating in my head over and over again without control.

Even so, I didn't fully believe her. Alycia seemed to be in love with her trips, not with me. And even if what Maia said ws true, I didn't like her.

I wasn't gay.

"She said she would, but it's Alycia. You never know what she will do" I answered.

And that honestly terrified me.

How can a person live like that?

"Don't get your hopes up, but I think she likes you Y/N..."

At that same moment I wanted to hit my head twenty four times due to my frustration. It wasn't only Maia who believed that, but also Hailee. I also have to admit that maybe Lili and some other clients thought the same.

"Hailee she only likes her trips and-"

"Come on Y/N! Everyone has seen the way she looks at you!"

Everyone except for me, of course, because I had been too busy looking at her.

"And you-" No, I wasn't going to let her finish her sentence.

"I'm not gay Hailee"

"Whatever you say..." And those were the last three words she said before my shift started. 

I tried, but couldn't remember the amount of clients I served. My mind was too busy thinking about the posibility that Alycia liked me, so I couldn't concentrate. I might have given some cients the wrong order, but Lili took care of my mistakes despite our complicated friendship.