No Better Lover Than Your Enemy (A Toru Oikawa Story)

Give Up

"You don't deserve her."

In all honesty, I shouldn't have been surprised to hear his voice. I knew that he was here. I knew he wasn't exactly fond of Satori... though I didn't think Oikawa would show up at this particular moment.

Satori hummed in amusement. "Hmm? And you think you do?" He tilted his head as he looked at the setter. "A flirty little playboy like you? You really think you have more a chance than me? We're practically dating already... we even dated in the past. You think you can compete with that?"

He's being an ass and he knows it. As much as I know that though, what he's saying isn't exactly wrong...

"Shut up Satori..." I sighed, not even bothering to deny nor confirm what he'd said. In all honesty, Satori knew me better than anyone... but that doesn't necessarily mean that I cared for him any more than I did for Oikawa. "Shouldn't you get back to your teammates? Your coach will get mad at you."

Right on cue, I could hear one of his teammates calling. I think that one was Semi... but that could have been any of them. I never could remember which voice belonged to which of the guys... we never really spent much time around them whenever Satori and I were together. Satori always had... other things in mind...

Satori looked at his team and then back at me. "Think about it, alright?" He then shot a smirk in Oikawa's direction and wandered off to join his friends.

Once he was out of sight, I let out a sigh. "You're really not gonna give up, are you?" I looked up at Oikawa, a calm expression on my face. I did promise him a date if Shiratorizawa lost, but there wasn't anything promised beyond that. "C'mon. I know a nice little cafe near here. Let's grab a coffee."

Oikawa raised an eyebrow. "Eager for the date already, are we?"

I shook my head. "Nah. This one's a freebie. My treat." I smiled softly. "You can invite Iwaizumi if you want, but I think there are some things that we should talk about."

Sometime later, we sat at a little table in the cafe, quietly sipping our coffees. He hadn't said much since we'd left, but can't say I'd blame him. A lot has happened that we haven't bothered to really talk about... like the night that we'd slept together.

"Toru-"

"I want to be there." Oikawa cut me off just as I was about to break the silence. He sounded a bit nervous, but I kind of liked seeing the not so confident side of him. "I... I know I screwed up... and I'm prepared to stick with you. I can't leave you to just-"

Laughter slipped out before he could even finish. "Toru, I'm not stupid." I wiped a bit of tear from my eye. "Do you really think that I can trust Satori to always use protection?" He totally thought I was gonna tell him I was pregnant... it was hilarious to me. "Birth control exists, you know?"

I don't think I'd ever seen anyone more relieved in my life. "You couldn't have told me that sooner?" He let out a sigh before smiling. "I've been worried ever since it happened..."

"I... I wanted to know how serious you were." Admittedly, I really should have told him a lot sooner, but I was a bit curious to see how he'd react to the entire situation. That's not entirely wrong, is it? If he was actually serious about me, he'd keep trying even despite that, right? Though if that had been the only reason he continued to show any interest at all... I don't think I could have taken that. "If you actually wanted to be with me, you'd keep trying even if I was... but I didn't really want to think that you felt responsible and that that could be the only reason you kept trying..."

It fell silent for a moment before I spoke again. "If you don't like me for me and are only doing this because you felt like you screwed up... like you were responsible for something, then I want you to walk away." I met his gaze with a serious expression. "I'm not about just date someone because they thought they knocked me up and felt like they had to be there. If you don't actually want to be with me because you want me, then I don't want anything to do with you."

Oikawa opened his mouth to speak, but I wouldn't let him... not yet. Things needed to be said. "I know exactly where Satori's for me lie; I don't know where yours do. Satori said that he's thinking about quitting volleyball after high school... meaning that everything that had made it not work out before won't be a problem." I stopped there, letting that sink in.

He was silent a moment, thinking it over. "So you'd go back to him, just like that?"

"Satori was always there... especially when you weren't." If I did end up trying things with Oikawa, there was a strong chance that I would lose anything Satori and I had had. Maybe I wouldn't but it wasn't a chance I wanted to take so carelessly. "I don't want to just give that up because you think you might be into me. If we started dating, I wouldn't be able to see Satori the way that I have been. I wouldn't expect you to understand, but it's a big step into unknown territory... one that I wouldn't be able to just take back."

"What if I felt the same way about you that he did?"

What if he felt the same, huh? Hadn't really thought that much about that option. "Toru... I..." I paused a moment to take a deep breath. "I'm not someone who falls for someone easily... There have been far too many times when I've been burned by getting attached to anyone." My gaze flicked over to a couple of girls sitting at a table. Pretty sure they'd been glancing this way at least a few times. Could have been members of his little fan club. "You have a lot of girls who'd gladly throw themselves at you, and it's not like I'm intimidated by that, but it's not exactly comforting either. I'm not stupid enough to just jump right into that... but in these moments where it's just us, I can't exactly help but be attracted."

"When you're not being that stupid pretty boy, I actually like you." Well, even when he was being a stupid pretty boy, he was still attractive... but it's not like I needed to tell him that. Pretty sure his ego was big enough as it was. "At first, I was just trying to look out for someone who needed it, but... you've really grown on me."

Oikawa smiled lightly. "I thought for sure you wanted to kill me."

"Who said I didn't?" Even after all these years, it was still funny just how much one incident could still terrify people. "I didn't think you'd even show up that day, honestly. I was sure you'd find some way to ditch."

"And risk you actually killing me? No thanks."

I brought a hand to my mouth, trying and failing to not laugh. Seeing his face though, I stopped. "What?"

He had this soft, warm smile that I didn't think I'd ever seen on him before. Carefully, he reached across the table, taking my hands. "You smiled just like that that night... Right then, I was done for..."

I gave his hands a light squeeze. "You're really serious about this, aren't you?" I didn't actually need the answer to that... it was already clear at that point. Maybe I really should give him a chance.

Slowly, we got up to leave. If we wasted too much time, we'd end up getting stuck walking home... not that I would have minded though. Still, we did kind of leave Iwaizumi waiting.

Once outside, I gently laced my fingers with his. "You know... Satori's not gonna like this..."

"I couldn't care less."