Saw me as a human

Why are you being so nice today?

Sitting there with his long hair flowing off the sides of his throne while I'm sitting on the floor beside it. That commonplace bored expression only brings his pretty features out more. Glowing red eyes looking out into space, it all seems like an art piece. He is an art piece. Izuru Kamakura. I shouldn't stare like this. After all, he doesn't even want anything to do with me. Can't say I'm surprised. I'm trash of a person in general, but compared to him? I'm less than nothing. Even now that I'm his servant, he barely interacts with me.

I wouldn't mind if Izuru hurt me or used me. Anything to be considered useful for hope, especially his hope, would be good enough. At this moment, I'm thinking of the words to say if I should say any at all. Brushing his excessively long hair, like I'm allowed to do pretty often, is one of the few excuses I have to be close to him and the only excuse I have to touch him. Even fantasizing about doing anything with the great Izuru Kamakura is disgusting of me. I need to stop. "What are you thinking about? You are awfully quiet today." He speaks without looking at me or changing expressions. As expected, I can't help but look up at his overly attractive face.

"Sorry. I figured you didn't want to hear my ramblings anymore. Haha..." A half truth. Something Izuru would be sure to see through. "That does not seem like you, Komaeda." He speaks with the same flat tone as always. "You... You remembered my name! Wow, to actually remember something as unimportant as that, I'm impressed!" That part is more shocking than anything that's happened in a while. No one remembers or knows my name seemingly. I suppose it doesn't matter. I'm just a lowly servant anyway. "Of course I do. Now, tell me your real thoughts." He's playing a game with me, right? There's absolutely no way he doesn't know. He has to know that I got a thing for him, he doesn't need to be a genius to figure it out.

"I'm just over thinking. Sorry for getting your hopes up. It's nothing interesting." That was as close to the truth as I want to verbalize. Realizing I was done with the brushing, I know I should leave before I embarrass myself. So I get up and start walking away, but he catches the chain at some of the lower links. With that straight face staying in place, he looks at me. For the first time, he's staring... at me. "Talk to me." I'm shocked to put it lightly. Why is he being so... normal? My mind can't comprehend it. "You really wanna talk to trash like me?"

Izuru let go of the chain. "You are quite unpredictable at times. It is interesting." Now he's praising me!? Something is definitely wrong. This is a dream! It has to be. "I did not think such a comment would make you so quiet either." My heart is conflicted. I'm so happy that I'm shaking! He's got to be playing a trick on me, but I want to believe he really means it. "Oh, Master Kamakura, you're so nice to me. I know I've said this before, but please don't be afraid to use me as your stepping stone. Whether it's physically, emotionally, sexually, it doesn't matter. I'll be sure to fill my role to the fullest." I mean everything I said. Every last word. But does he know that? Maybe I need to prove it somehow. "Sexually?" He asks while not breaking his eyes from me.

Maybe I shouldn't have said that. "Of course. Although I understand if the idea alone disgusts you." The embarrassment lingered in my head. Why did I say that? I meant it, but I don't wanna make him uncomfortable. "That is not the issue. Instead, I want to know why you think I would be the type of person to use someone, especially in that sense." He gets up from his chair and slightly closer. I forgot he's an inch shorter than me.

"Someone? I'm nothing, so it's okay t-"

"If you say one more negative thing about yourself, I might have to resort to drastic measures."

I just stared at him. He's standing up for me? Why? What's changed? I don't understand this. Coming a step closer, Izuru is now barely a foot away. The closest he's been in a long time. "Why are you being so nice today?" I won't like the answer. He's probably just doing something to ease his boredom. Blatantly ignoring my question he says, "It is true that I do not have a good grasp on emotions, but I am not some abusive monster." I know. Of course, I know that! Those red vacant eyes are finally showing a bit of emotion. Sadness? Distrust? It was so little, I could be imagining it. "I don't think you are. Sorry, I just don't know how I can be useful to you... Anything you want to do to me would be enough."

A strong hand gently pats my head then roughles my fluffy hair. Being as touch starved as I am, the feeling is too heavenly. My heart skips a beat in happiness. I know Izuru is NOT the touchy type at all. What an honor! "You are useful, Komaeda. Try not to be so hard on yourself." Oh god, I'm gonna melt. "T-Thank you." That's all I can manage to let out. I'm so happy I'm not sure whether to smile, cry, or what. "If I were to do anything with you, I would want it to be because you, as a human being, want to." His hand goes back to his side. I don't want him to stop petting me. "For now, I would like to spend some time with you."

Huh!? With me? He's seriously lost it. "Kamakura. You, uh... You didn't answer me before. Why are you being so nice to me today?" His expression doesn't change, even the hint of emotion I thought I saw isn't there anymore. "You did not come see me yesterday due to the little one's requests. It made me realize how much worse it is without your ramblings. Plus, it gets lonely here." I wasn't expecting such an honest answer. I didn't think he'd be lonely. All this time, he's hated being around people for the most part, so I thought anyone would just annoy him. "Am I really that special?" Without actually answering for a second, he roughles my hair again. "Unexpectedly."

I don't know what to say. I've ever been genuinely treated like this. Everything in my mind was confused. Izuru is doing this just because he's lonely? I just don't know. "So what do you wanna do?" A glance at the time, 23:41, it's later than I thought. He realizes it too. "Come to my room for now. I do not want to be alone with my thoughts." Before I could answer, he starts walking away. Of course I can't decline. This dream better not end soon.