Falice 2

Te Deseo Lo Mejor [I Wish You the Best]

I've had this song on repeat and it resonates so much to Falice. I just had to write something because I was thinking about the scene where FP ends up going to the play but ends up realizing she went back to Hal.

I translated the lyrics for my non Spanish speaker friends :)

***

Yo sé que soy un cabrón
Que no merezco tu perdón
[ I know I'm a bastard
That I don't deserve your forgiveness]

FP was cleaning up a booth when a very happy, flirtatious Alice came into the diner. Her face lit up when she spotted him. She gleefully made her way over to the man.

After the night they spent together she had an idea that wouldn't leave her mind. With the play's opening night only hours away she was wondering if he would like to come see her perform. It would be just like old times, except they were the kids on stage back then.

"What's happening handsome?"

FP turned to look at her. "Just bussing tables, Alice. You?"

"Just finished rehearsal. I'm in a high school musical. Can you believe it?" She followed him around as he worked. He didn't say anything to that. "Maybe you'll come by? Check it out?"

"I'm working, Alice. Sorry." He turned away. He was clearly avoiding her.

"Wow, really? This old act again?" Alice wasn't letting him walk away. "You know what's funny. I was afraid our kids were going to make the same mistakes we did. Turns out we're the ones making them all over again."

He watched her march out and he mentally cursed at himself for acting like such an asshole.

If it weren't for Pop deciding to close up early and unknowingly convincing him that going to the play would be a good thing, he wouldn't have thought about how he wanted to apologize. He went home determined to make it up to her.

Te deseo lo mejor
Ojalá que te olvides de mí
Yo sé que fui lo peor
Y tú mereces ser feli'
[I wish you the best
Hopefully you'll forget about me
I know I was the worst
And that you deserve to be happy]

FP sat in his truck. He stared at his hands as he twirled a pink envelope between his fingers. He wrote to her. It was his worst way of communicating himself, but he knew how much words could mean to her. He wanted to show her how dedicated he was to fixing this with her. He was willingly to put in the effort to prove it to her. She meant more to him than he let on.

He looked over at the school. There was so much history between them in there. Coming to the play meant so much to her. She just wanted to feel like it would have the same effect on him too. He realized that now. It's more than watching a play. She wanted to know how committed he was to them. They couldn't fall back to their old ways. They were better than that.

FP braced himself to go in there. Why couldn't he treat her better? Why did he have to selfishly push her away? Why couldn't he realize what he caused with his ignorance sooner? He's the one afraid to explore the possibilities for a stable relationship. He's afraid of feeling something he has never felt with anyone else. He's afraid to lose that. He's afraid of how real things were becoming. He's afraid of falling deeper in love with her and somehow managing to ruin that for the both of them. But he did just that by fearing it.

When he woke up alone this morning he thought of the worst, he had doubted. She went home after he fell asleep. Of course, she had to, he thought. She had to go home, not spend the night. But another part of him thought she was too good for him to stay.  She could do better than him. She's achieved so much when he had sunk into a deep, terrible state. He had to push her away if he wanted her to keep having the good life she earned for herself. He couldn't take that away from her.

He made a mistake. What they both really wanted was to make this work. It was clear to him now. He had to let her know that it was all clear now. He wasn't going to repeat his past mistakes anymore.

He walked past the crowd of people trying to get to their seats. He confidently walked down the aisle, but stopped mid step as he watched what was happening right in front of him. That was her on stage, but he was not the man she looked happy to be seeing.

Me voy antes de que sea tarde
Y el corazón te destroce otra ve'
Ya sé que soy un cobarde
Si quiere' haz que no me conoce'
[I'll leave before it's too late
And your heart breaks you again
I know I'm a coward
If you want, pretend like you don't know me]

FP turned away and walked himself back out. He couldn't stay to watch. He pushed her back into his arms. It was too late for him. She was happy. He couldn't take that away from her. He couldn't hurt her anymore. He has to let her be happy. His selfish decision to protect himself from getting hurt only wound up hurting him. She was going to be better off without him. He owed her that at the very least. He looked at the letter in his hands. He couldn't give it to her anymore. It would take away what she had in there. He can't do that to her. He shoved it into his pocket and showed himself out.

He turned the corner at the end of the hall and happened to walk past a very familiar closet. He stopped to look at it for a second. He spent some crazy times with her inside. Oh, what he would do to feel the way he felt in there with her again. He stupidly lost her twice now for his idiotic ways.

He shifted his eyes over to the set of lockers down the hall. He remembers one of those specific lockers belonged to Alice. He normally would walk the halls and see the feisty Serpent gal shoving things into her locker, but one day it changed. One day he watched her standing there pretending to be somebody he knew she wasn't. At her side was no other than the man he keeps losing her to.

FP made himself get out of there at this point. He couldn't stay any longer. It hurt too much.

Otra ve' no cumplí lo que te prometí
Otra ve' te falle, otra ve' te mentí
Otra ve' me toca ser el malo
[Again, I didn't do what I promised you
Again, I failed you, I lied to you
Again, I have to be the bad guy]

FP fumbled with his keys as he rushed to leave. He climbed into his truck and sat there like a fool. He pinched the arch of his nose as he thought about everything he caused. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. He failed her again. He failed them both again.