Not a Homosexual (Homestuck fanfic: DaveKat)

The Hell Train

Karkat's POV

Shit. Shit. Shit. Where the fuck am I? In a black void?? I can't see anything but darkness. What the actual fuck? I guess I'm in hell. I'll just wait here for the hell train to arrive.

...

Okay... I'm sure the hell train will arrive soon... I'm expecting a 'CHOO CHOO, IT'S TIME FOR HELL' or some other shit. Wait...I hear...the train?....no... It's laughter...maybe trolls on the train are laughing at my pathetic figure of being a mutant.They should be happy that they can laugh while they still can. They're gonna burn in hell anyway.

But...those laughters don't sound like a troll's...it sounds like a laughter that Egbert has. But younger... Wait a minute... AM I IN HELL OR NOT?!
That's it! I'm getting out of this damn void! Then suddenly I opened my eyes. So the darkness wasn't a void at all. It was just me being stupid. My eyes were fucking closed! And...oh gog....

I'm in a place worse than hell...IM ON EARTH.

Hoy shit. Captor's teleporter worked! Why the hell am I happy?? Shit! Tiny humans! Tiny tiny tiny humans! They're running around holding sticks! What the hell!? Okay. Okay. Calm down. I need to know where the fuck am I on Earth. Okay, I am under a tree. And I am...at.....'Kid's Playground'? What kind of place is this? Shit.
And who the hell is 'Kid'? What kind of sick creep would name their tiny human Kid? Earth is a messed up planet.

Oh my gog! Karkat stop talking to youself! You gotta get yourself out of here! The teleporter worked. Just press the fucking button to go hom- wait...what the hell.. Tiny humans are staring at me. "Hello mister. Are you a cosplayer?" A tiny human said. What the hell is a cosplayer? Umm. "What the hell is a cosplayer?" I told them. One of the tiny humans gasped "He said a bad word!" Gah.... I decided to ignore them.

I stood up and heard a sound from where I sat. I looked down and saw THE FUCKING CUBE CAPTOR GAVE ME FOR ME TO TELEPORT BACK HOME!!! IT'S BROKEN!! CRACKED!! THE RED BUTTON IS NOW GRAY!
"Holy shit!!" I screamed. The tiny humans were pointing at me saying "Bad word! Bad word!" I don't really that much care about them. I just glared at them and they ran away. Except for a tiny female human, she had black hair with a red streak. She looks stupid.

I quickly picked up the pieces of the cube and ran away. I didn't know where I was going. But I had to get away from tiny humans. I ran past a tall hive and bumped into someone. It made my headache WORSE. Because of my rage, I screamed at the human staring at me "What the hell is wrong with you?!? Can't you see that I was right here running?!? You are supposed to move out of the way, nooksucker!"
I rubbed my eyes and stood up. I glared into the human's soul...until.."Yo Karkat, chill down. I couldn't see you 'cause you're really short. Didn't expect that. Who knew your body is really fragile." Gogdammit...it's Dave FUCKING Strider. The smirking demon. I guess I just got down from the hell train. Hello hell...