how to save a life

2: am i like dad?

Langa sat up, throwing his head forward. He was drenched in a cold sweat.

The scene of his dad's death played through in his mind over and over. His head was pounding. He couldn't pull himself out of the panic.

"MOM" he called out, breathless, "MOM." he felt tears trickling down his cheeks.

His mom came into his room, "okay baby you're okay you're okay." Langa agrees with the rest of you that, yes, the pet names are dumb, but he found an odd sense of comfort in them and in his mother's presence.

His mom wrapped her arms around him in a strong embrace and he hugged her back. He could feel the steady beat of her heart.

He didn't tell people he moved to Japan because his dad died and he definitely didn't tell people he had nightmares still. It made him feel like a little kid. It was stupid. It made him feel weak.

Reki experienced something similar that same night. He was sleeping on the couch when he suddenly jerked awake, soaked in a cold liquid. He looked over to see his dad standing, holding a now empty bottle of beer upside down over him.

Reki was wide awake, he blinked at him in fear before running to his room, thankfully unscathed. He saw his older younger sister sitting awake, tears rolling down her face.

"Hey! What's wrong?" He said in a hushed voice.

"It smells like cigarettes in your room." She cried. Reki's face went pale.

"You're just like dad!" She whisper yelled. Reki shook his head, "no I'm not! I'm not like dad I promise. I would never touch alcohol not a day in my life."

"But you'll smoke!? Isn't that just as bad? Are you gonna yell at us like dad does too?" She was nearly sobbing.

Reki shook his head, "I won't. Here look." He pulled the half empty pack of cigarettes out of his soaking wet pocket and opened the window.

He threw them outside with the force of a baseball pitch.

"They're gone. I won't smoke anymore." Reki said. His sister sniffled and he hugged her, "I'm sorry. I promise I'll stop. Im not like dad."

"Pinky promise?" She asked. "Pinky promise." They locked pinkies.

"Why are you all wet..?" She asked.

"Dad poured his beer bottle on me while I was sleeping. That's why I came in here was to take a shower." Reki said.

"Maybe do that."

Reki laughed in response, "okay I'll do that."

Niether of the two boys went back to sleep that night.

-----

It was the beginning of the school day, his mom took the twins to preschool and back before Reki drove his sister to school because his mom needed to bike to her nearby work. He was so tired and stressed. He wanted to smoke and feel that instant relief, but he made a promise.

"Reki?" His sister asked.

"Yeah?" He responded as they pulled up to her school.

"Are you addicted to cigarettes?" She asked, clearly still upset about it. She had noticed that Reki didn't sleep the night before, he was never up before her and today he was. She had noticed how dark the circles under his eyes were. (well- eye..) She had noticed that his complexion was paler than normal and his mood was the least cheery it had ever been.

The least cheery he had been since June 21st.

Reki took a deep breath, "I'm gonna be honest with you, I don't know." He stayed silent for a moment as they waited in line for the drop off, "sometimes when you get older the things that used to work to help you destress don't work anymore so we have to find different things. But you should worry about yourself okay? Whatever is happening with me I can handle all by myself and if I need your help I will let you know."