𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖐𝖊𝖗𝖇𝖊𝖑𝖑 🧚🏾‍♀️

part 4

Recap

I forgot that Trey was here, oh but now that I did. "Why u here Trey " I ask in an annoyed tone. I'm. Not even mad anymore, just want to be. I could never hold grudges even when I was a child.

"Can we talk" For a minute I dinsh in my head

"About what" I reply

"About me"

"Come on" I say opening the door

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I open the door and take my shoes off wondering what he's going to say. Well.. this is awkward.

"Umm" I say trying to get him to say sumthing

"We could go to yo room" he suggests

"Oh ok" I say getting walking to my room, nervous as hell. I walk into my room going into the bed, as Trey follows me. He sits on the bed, now I would get my heart up but I been through this befo. What would happen we kissed.

"What" Trey asks me. Wait did I say that out loud. Oh Lord, fuckin kill me

"What u talkn bout" I say confused  looking around for effect

"Uh.. Nun" He says. Ima have a kick the nigga out, I can't go back from that. No you want answers so let's get them.

"Talk" I say

"About what" He says with a smirk, no nigga don't act dumb. I reply his comment with a blank face

"Where you want me to start" He asks nervously

"You probably want me to start from the beginning, so  its-"

"Shhhh"

"No, tell me what's up with your pops" I say bc no one has the time to remember allat

"Well, he just been on em drugs. "

"It's making him real dangerous, I scared for not me but for my little brother. "

"I wanna get CPS involved but I can't be his caregiver and my aunts and cousins don't like us. They gonna do worse than my dad. "

"I don't want him to go through what I had to"

"He don't have a mom like I did, all he got is me. "

"I'm not the best you know" He says tearing up.

"What the fuck is he doing to man man" I ask calmly

"He won't tell me, but I see the scars" He says looking diwn

"Where is Keith" I ask angered

"He at the dodie house." He tells me, it eases my kind bc she a good lady.

"Get up" I tell him

"U ain't even finish tho"

"Get up"

"Why"

"We getting man man" I say getting my keys

"Trinity" I yell

"Yeah"

"You wanna get man man wit me"

"Yes" She screams getting up

"Trey" I say turning around to meet him.

I start walking over to him giving him a big ass hug, while he holds on to me for dear life. I feel my shirt get wet.

"Hey, look at me" I say I say as he looks at me.

"Y'all movin in. " I say

"What"

"You heard me" I say smacking his head

"Y'all ain't staying wit that cracked out muthafucka" I say seriously

"It's ok to get help" I say looking at him.

"Naw it's fi-"

"Shhhh"

"There is no going back" I say. Realizing Im still hugging him.

"Ima be a burden doe" He says

"Nigga, shut the fuck up" I say

"Come on we gotta get clothes for y'all to move in" I say happy

"Ok" He says softly

Something is ringing in my head tho, why would he start telling me shit now. This has happened before and nothing ever changed, I just can't shake the feeling Jazz has something to do with it. Oh wow, I guess it really shows that I don't have anything.

I cling so much to him because of the fear of acceptance. I'm scared that I will change to seek other validation. So I just cling to my bestie and he's all I got. It's sad really, doesn't matter how bad it is, and how I should probably leave him sometimes. I didn't think have it in me. Haven't changed one bit, never could be angry for too long. Always too forgiving, tries but fails at holding people accountable.

I'm still the girl I was in 6th grade. Well the difference is I at least had tenacity. Now, I just let it go a-let I goooo, let it gooooo, can't hold it ba-why the fuck. Why just why, I can't have a meaningful conversation wit myself without old ass songs poppin in that shit.

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Short little filler chapter

Sry that it's late😞

Well excuse any errors

Also I'm thinking about redoing this book. Maybe think about it more, add aesthetic shit, get a better cover, go more in depth with characters.

You think I should do it?

Hope you enjoy 🙃