Oath *Completed*

Ruv's Self-Control

How dare you be happy?

I don't know who this was. The location's environment seemed to be bland, spanning endlessly in a world of colorless intransigence. Human nature would dictate one's feelings to rely on pure eagerness to find out what the hell was going on in this situation. And that train of thought hit the mark. I wanted nothing more but to get out of this weird bottomless depth that I'm in.

That voice wagged around the upper areas like some sort of annoying bell. It frustrated me the more it spat unreserved questions. Like I needed to atone. I already have so much to pay for that I forgot to count. 

Why did we have to die? Do you think you can just get away with this?

There it went again, digging deeper into my sanity. The voices would soon corroborate to infiltrate my movements. Their sounds wailed depressingly into the air, a melancholic rainstorm of doubt and regret clouded the area until I felt suffocated by the neck. My footsteps faltered, I held my neck like it was going to be separated from my body, my convictions being ripped apart plunging into a false sense of euphoria.

Was I dreaming? A nightmare? 

The color of soot mixed with the place, turning my eyes into one of its own. 

Ruvyzvat, we do not want you to forget you can never be at peace. This maelstrom of bloodshed will always follow you until you join us. For the innocent souls that you haven't spared as you raged, we will lie in wait for your arrival.

"F**k!" I screamed as I opened my eyes, the wall beside me cracking in the shape of a web. I didn't even f**king punch it. In contrast to dreams, nightmares were unforgettable. They leave a stronger trail of reality combined with an individual's greatest fears. 

I was in my room. In the house Sarv had bought for us. I wasn't much for decorations so my room was plainly straightforward. Awakening, the room's lack of materials and furniture unsettled me. Maybe a bedside lamp can help.

Those voices in my sleep were not just similar to nightmares. They were real. The people I had slaughtered back then still haunt me. But that wasn't the reason why I was upset. It was the mere case that I was trying to live normally after everything I'd done. 

I don't regret who I am now, even if I was disappointed at times. Stealing coins when given the chance and loitering in random areas. That was Ruv, not Ruvyzvat. I wasn't a killer anymore but I can't deny being that way once. 

I sing around children in the church, hang out with Sarv, and everything. That was a huge difference. That didn't mean shit to the nightmare earlier. I guess I really wasn't a good person. I wasn't. 

I clearly am not.

"Ruv?! You okay?!" Sarv barged into my room, a frying pan in hand, her pink hair wildly flailing as she rushed to the bedside. "Why'd you scream?! You punched the wall?! Do you know how much repair costs these days?!"

I should try to get better, right? 

"I'm fine, Sarv. More importantly," I said, getting off the bed. "I'm going to turn myself in the slammer."

"Eh?! Wh-what?! You don't mean..." She was at a loss for words. "I know you Ruv. You don't do things just because you feel like it. So why do you suddenly want to go to jail?"

I look up at the ceiling, my heart beats beyond saving. I didn't pay attention to how close we were back then but Sarv's such a beauty I can't help avoiding her gaze. It'd be bad for my system.

"Closure, I guess. If you know who I am, I shouldn't have to tell you about the things I've done."

Sarv lowered her pan, a frown on her face. "While we're still decorating the house? What bad timing you have to declare such a big decision, Ruv."