Wallflower [Seungjin]

20

[Chapter twenty]

"so long as ignorance and misery remain on earth, there should be a need for books such as this."
Victor Hugo- Les Misérables

——➰——

"So, are we going to that party tonight at Ryunjin's room?", Minho asked as they searched for one of the clues in the park. Chan had a map on his hand, provided by the teacher as he tried to figure how on earth that was supposed to be positioned, while Jeongin laughed at him from afar, already knowing where they needed to go.

"I'm not sure that is the best idea." Changbin sighed. "It's just this night, we literally just dropped our things at the hotel, are we breaking rules already?"

"What?", Felix got up from the bench he was using to do photosynthesis and walked to him, sliding an arm around his shoulder with a grin. "You're scared?"

"N-no!", Changbin felt the sun burn his cheeks more than it should. "I-I just don't want to b-be in trouble."

Chan rolled his eyes and separated them.

"Come on, we nee to search for this shit."

"What is it even supposed to be? And does it actual make a difference in our grade? Because it doesn't I'll just go look for a funko store.", Jisung spoke so fast all the boys turned to each other, some laughing, some confused.

"What the hell did he just say? Was that gibberish?"

The shorter whined at Felix.

"You're mean, you know I talk fast!"

"I'm sorry, guys, he was probably trying to communicate with one of the squirrels in the park, that was clearly no human language."

Jisung pouted as they decided to divide into pairs, and then fake cried because he didn't want to be with Felix, the taller chuckled and pulled Changbin to his side, hugging him slightly from the side.

"I'll go with shorty, then."

"Hey!", The guy managed to not stutter for the first time that trip. "I am not that short.", he crossed his arms.

"Great, Lix, you managed to get both of them mad."

The taller chuckled and slapped his boyfriend's head.

"Too bad, let's go, Changbin.", the taller grinned and took his arm, pushing him behind as he left that part of the part looking for the clue.

"What was it again?", Jisung asked, not caring about his boyfriend disapearing all of a sudden.

"Some box with some shit."

"Stop swearing!"

"Sorry Innie.", Chan pulled the smaller boy close and kissed his temple. "Let's work guys, come on."

Jisung didn't say a word, he pulled Minho with him fast and muttering something at the guy, who was visibly upset.

"Something weird is going on with those two.", Seungmin said as the last pair left him and the long haired alone at that part. Hyunjin stopped going through the tall grass and sat on the bench next to Seungmin.

"What?"

"They don't give a shit about each other.", he sighed. "I mean, in a romantic way. They're really close and I think they do love each other but not like that."

"They're an open couple, aren't they?"

Seungmin nodded.

"I'm not saying you don't love the person in those cases, but theirs, they just don't fit that right, and they know it."

"Why is that bothering you? Got a crush on one of them?", Hyunjin knew it sounded a bit harsher than it should, but Seungmin didn't seem to notice.

"No, of course not. It's just... for me love is such a beautiful thing, I don't want to go around having shit with more than one people at the same time if I don't love them and specially not just for fucking. I mean, what is the meaning of sex?", Hyunjin nodded, to show he was listening. "I know it's just for me, you see? Everyone is diferent, but I could never."

"I think I get you, I don't really know if I feel the same. It's like I always wanted to try but never felt it was right. Maybe it's just the belief that it is important."

"Or maybe you're just like me.", Seungmin smiled.

"Like you?"

Seungmin nodded.

"I'm demissexual. Means that you can only have sexual relationships once you really really love the person. It just doesn't work in another way."

Hyunjin bit his lip.

"But, I'm straight."

Seungmin chuckled and took his hand.

"You can be aromantic, assexual, demissexual and others and still be straight, Hyunjin."

"Really?", the younger nodded.

"How come your friends never taught you that?"

Hyunjin's shrugged.

"They're all just gay and horny, they only care about me accepting them and never really talk about it in this way.", he stated at his own feet. "Sexualities are so confusing."

Seungmin drew circles on his hand, letting the taller think on his own for a while.

"We don't need to label ourselves, you know? We feel what we feel, I think I know who I am and I give it a name, you can know who you are without naming it, or even without understanding it. Whatever feels right, is all that matters."

Hyunjin turned to the younger and let a small smile be plastered on his face.

"You're such a good talker.", he chuckled. "I could have never imagined."

Seungmin shrugged.

"I read a lot." He let go of his hand. "Are we looking for it or not?"

——➰——

"So, nine at her room, don't forget the drinks she's counting on us.", Jisung pointed his finger at Felix as they all had dinner in a random pizza restaurant. He was sitting next to his boyfriend again, but Hyunjin made a mental note to ask Minho what the hell had happened after, since he was pretty sure the guy didn't have that hickey when they left.

He also knew he would em up forgetting about it before he could ask, since they were drinking.

"This is still a bad idea."

"And we are still doing it.", Changbin whined at the answer, for some reason suddenly comfortable with everyone around him, not stuttering every time Felix breathed.

"Why aren't you eating?", The taller of them was more concerned about Seungmin's half full plate, to which he just shrugged.

"Not hungry."

Hyunjin sighed and tilted his head, not realizing all of the table's eyes were on them.

"I'll give it to your mouth if you don't eat. And I'll make the plane joke every single bite."

Seungmin pouted.

"You wouldn't."

"Try me.", Hyunjin reached for his fork but the ginger slapped his hand away.

"Okay, okay, I'll eat. Jezus."

Minho and Chan exchanged glances as the others laughed at the situation, smiling after.

——➰——
I don't have much to say tbh, today was a tough day.

Alexa Okay Grow up by Straykids.