Little Morgan Gallagher

14- Sergeant Slaughter

"He was my first dead person Morgy. There are 200 euphemisms for death.. kicked the bucket. Met his maker. Ate dirt. Six feet under. Pushing daisies. Bit the dust-"

I pulled my blanket over my head and she carried on listing different ways to say someone died.

     Later I sat on Ian's bed, rolling joints as Carl punched Ian's stomach while he did pull-ups.

     "Ah dude stop," Ian grunted as Carl kept punching him.

     "Why are you punching him dumbass," I asked licking the joint I was rolling.

     ""It's the best way to get abs, saw it on a YouTube video."

     "Hey fuckwad!" Called Lip coming up the stairs.

     "Dickhead," said Carl.

     "What're you doing?"

     "Helping Ian train."

     "Yo, I was talking to this army guy from the Pentagon, he's a colonel or something," Lip said sitting beside me on the bed, ruffling my hair before starting to roll joints too for his ice cream truck business.

     "Oh yeah?" Said Ian.

     "Yeah, thought he could tell us more about West Point. He was a student there."

     "They're called cadets."

     Next thing we heard Debbie coming up the stairs. "I will burn for you, Feel pain for you,"  she sang, pushing Carl out of the way, going into the bathroom.

    "I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heaarrttt." She shut the door and I chuckled at her.

     "What's with her?" Asked Lip. "Obsessed with death," I said.

     "Anyway I thought this guy might be a good lead."

     "I dunno, took that practice trig test today. Only got a 73." Ian panted whike doing sit ups

     "Five points higher than last time." I said.

     "I cheated."

     "Why do you wanna go in the army anyway? You're gonna get shot through the butthole," said Carl.

     I looked up from rolling. "Hey, you know the only reason you're not in summer school is coz they wouldn't have you."
     *               *               *               *               *
     We got to go to an all you can eat buffet since Fiona found a purse on the L. (On her way back from meeting up with her married high school crush Craig Heisner.) I wasn't complaining though since Fiona was treating us all since we stole the money out of her purse.

Me and Ian came in the back door from being on a run. Lip was walking into the kitchen with Carl as we came in.

"Look buddy you've gotta get a job this summer so we can make it through the winter." Lip said guiding him into the kitchen.

"I help Debbie with daycare," he said.

"Eating all the Mac N cheese isn't helping out bud," I said ruffling his hair.

"You need to put a thousand bucks in the squirrel fund before school."

"Debs! Carl! A little help!" We heard Fiona coming through the door. " go help your sister," Ian said. Her hands were filled with shopping bags.

"This from the purse windfall?"

"The gift that keeps on giving," said Fiona.

"Waffles!" Exclaimed Carl rummaging in the bag. "Blueberry pancakes in there too. French toast and scrambled egg whites for Lieutenant Gallagher," said Fiona, handing stuff to Ian.

"Thanks Fi."

"Newspaper," she said handing it to Debbie then threw socks to Carl. "New socks Carl, throw out the ones with the holes in them."

"A manicure?" I asked. "Treated myself, and here's your treat," she said handing me the super sour drink I liked, I was definitely getting drunk later. "Thanks big sis."

"Nineteen people died in Chicago yesterday," Debbie butted in.

Then Fiona threw a carton on cigarettes to Lip, "Carton of smokes for you Lip."

"This guy died of heat exhaustion. He was only 54. People can die of heat exhaustion?"

"Put the rest of this stuff away, I gotta go meet the rich purse woman." Fiona started to walk back out the door.

"Oh she called?" Said Lip.

"Hey remember, no reward, no purse," I said. Fiona gave me a thumbs up before walking out the door.