hopeless | jean kirstein

7 | fighting

The sky that had previously been a bright blue was now a dull grey, the clouds hiding the sun from their sight as if symbolizing the feeling of hopelessness that they felt. Taryn and the others slowly ducked their heads, paying tribute to their fallen comrades.

"Team 34 was almost wiped out then?" One of them said. "If we try to face the Titans, the same will happen to us..."

"I'm sorry, Mikasa..." They heard Armin say, his whole body shaking as he broke into a sob. "Eren...he sacrificed himself for me. I couldn't—I couldn't do anything...I'm sorry..."

His words stirred up something inside them. Regret, pity, sadness—these things filled their hearts, knowing full well what it was like to watch their friends get eaten in front of them, and in turn not being able to do anything lest they risk being killed as well. They felt awful, but most of all, they felt like giving up.

Mikasa crouched down in front of Armin and took his hand, her face wearing a determined look. "Armin, calm down. This isn't the time to get emotional," She stood up, urging the boy to do the same. "Now stand up."

She then turned her head to face them, walking towards the edge of the roof with a hard stare. "Marco. If we eliminate the Titans swarming the HQ, then we can refuel and climb the walls. Isn't that right?"

Marco followed her gaze although he himself was holding an expression of doubt. "That's right, but..." He gulped. "Even with you here, there are too many—"

"I can do it."

"H-Huh?"

"I am strong!" She exclaimed, jousting her sword up in the air. "Stronger than you guys. Very strong. Therefore, I can defeat those Titans, even on my own!"

Her statement caused all of them to widen their eyes at her, all of them perturbed by her sudden behavior. It was true, Mikasa's strength and abilities were exceptional and far beyond the average soldier. She was even considered to be one of the best to have graduated in a century.

But despite those, if she were to go against a whole horde of Titans without enough gas, her chances would still end up being incredibly slim. Without their maneuver gear, they were as good as doomed.

"You are not only weak, but you are also spineless cowards," She pointed her sword at them with a glare. "I am disappointed in you. So just stay here...stay here and watch."

"Hey, Mikasa! What are you saying?"

"You're going to fight all those Titans by yourself?!"

"There's no way you can do that!"

"If I can't, then I'll die," Her eyes turned to the faraway distance. "But if I win, I'll live. If I don't fight, I can't win."

The girl took off without a second glance, causing an uproar to rise among the remaining people on the roof. They watched as her figure zoomed into the air with speed. Taryn stared after her with wide eyes, her mind taking a second to ponder over what she had just said.

If I can't, then I'll die.

She looked at Jean who stood next to her, and then looked at the others with their hopeless gazes. She furrowed her brows.

But if I win, I'll live.

She then turned to study the distance between them and the Garrison Headquarters, wondering if whether or not they could actually make it. Am I really about to do this? Entertaining the thought, she shut her eyes, preparing herself.

If I don't fight, I can't win.

As if reading her thoughts, the male beside her scoffed before taking a step forward. "What's disappointing here is your vocabulary...was that supposed to be some inspirational speech?" He muttered as he began to unsheathe his blades. "This is your fault, Eren."