Cahaya Fails

Part 2

Cahaya fidgeted on his seat as he watched Teacher Mama read the instructions of their exam aloud followed by warning them of what would happen if they cheated.

Was this what a breakdown felt like?

Or at least what it felt like to reach his breaking point. He knew he wasn't there yet. But it definitely felt like he was close to one.

He couldn't stop himself from snapping at his brothers earlier that morning, resulting to more scolding from their Grandpa which eventually resulted to a worried talk from him. But Cahaya merely responded to this with soft mumbles of apology, unable to look at the elderly in the eye.

He was afraid that he might start bursting into tears if he did.

It was so much easier to be angry than to remember that insecurity that kept growing every minute he wasn't reading a textbook.

And because of this, he ended up doing an all-nighter.

Which he knew wasn't something he should do before a major exam. His parents had scolded him before when they caught him staying up late reading. And if his parents didn't catch him, it would usually be Tanah—or even Petir on rare occurrences.

But since he had been snappy and rude to them... they probably never bothered telling him off... if they ever did notice the kitchen light that was still on during the ungodly hours.

"Ten minutes left."

Cahaya snapped out of his dazed before staring at his paper in horror. He had only managed to answer the first three items of the exam.

He didn't realize he had been zoning out that long— he bit his lower lip in frustration as he felt the exhaustion from lack of sleep make his brain feel all muddled. He squinted his eyes trying to make sense of the questions while the panic from the time limit made it harder for him to focus.

"Five minutes."

He answered in a haze of panic, not even sure if he was putting the correct answers or not anymore.

How could he have been stupid?!

This is exactly why he wasn't supposed to stay up late!

His dad had told him countless of times that cramming would do him more harm than good.

His mom had told him a good night's sleep is the key to every person's success.

He knew all of this and yet, he had gone ahead and did it anyway.

How could he be so... incompetent?

"Times up! Pass your papers."

He managed to answer the last question before the teacher came up to him and took his paper. He saw the adult give him a worried look before heading to the next student to get their paper. There were chatters of excitement around him as the dreaded exam was finally over, but Cahaya hardly felt any relief.

The class was dismissed, but before he could leave, Teacher Mama had called him.

He caught sight of Daun looking hesitant at the door, and his chest ache at the thought that he still acted all worried for him despite what had happened yesterday.

"Teacher?" The boy clad in green eventually asked, still looking at Cahaya worriedly.

"I just need a moment to talk with your brother." She assured, and Daun nodded in understanding before leaving.

He watched those eyes stare at him in worry and he finds himself looking away.

He could already feel the tears well up as he was sure Teacher Mama had seen how he had struggled in his exam.