Safe to love you

Chapter two

Months ago, Dean bought tickets for tonight's Muse concert. I absolutely want to go because they're my favorite band. I know it's wrong to use him like this, when I'm intending on breaking up with him tomorrow, but I'll regret it if I don't go. I tried to buy a ticket for myself, after a night where I'd had enough of Dean's behaviour, but they're impossible to find. One more night with him won't kill me, right? And if I'm honest with myself, I think I deserve to go to the concert, especially after everything I've put up with. He's picking me up in an hour, and his friends, Jonathan and Jesse, are coming with us. Hopefully with them in tow, it'll be fun and Dean will behave.

Tomorrow, I'll ask him if we can go for a walk at Waterfront Park. I have to break up with him. I can't keep pretending I want to be with him. It's wrong, and I need to make it right, both for my sake and Dean's.

I dress in, black, skinny jeans, a black and white striped tank top, and purple Converse sneakers. I can already hear Dean's complaints in my head, but I want to be comfortable to dance. 'Why do you always dress like you're fifteen years old, Abbie?'," or, Why do you always have to wear those damn Converse?' I'm so tired of his attitude. I'm not a business woman, obviously, so I don't do the suit thing. I like dressing for comfort, I'm not a clothes horse. Dean is welcome to wear his boring clothes, I couldn't care less. I never complain about his awful ties.

I'm lucky enough to read books for a living: I review them for the Chief Editor at a major publishing house. I don't need to dress up for my job; I can do it in my pyjamas if I feel like it. It's one more benefit I love about my career.

I hear the knock at the door and wipe my sweaty palms down the side of my jeans. Calm down, Abbie. Calm down. It's going to be okay.

''Abbie, baby? Are you ready?'' Dean says, as he walks into my apartment.

''Yeah, I'm almost done'' I respond, applying mascara.

I hear him striding through the living room. I catch sight of his reflection in the mirror, as he walks up behind me.

Those jeans accentuate your fine ass. But seriously, Abbie, what is it that you like about those damn shoes?''

I knew it. I roll my eyes and try to control my irritation. ''Dean, I just want to be comfy tonight and have a good time" I tried to gauge his mood, judging how far I could safely push. "I don't want us to fight over this, okay?'' I deliberately kept my tone calm and soft, I tried to sound reasonable. I'm always so afraid of what his reaction will be. He could order me to change clothes – he's done it before and he certainly won't hesitate to do it again. Tonight though, I'm praying he won't push the subject - I don't want to miss a second of the concert and to get there on time, we need to be leaving now.

Dean studies me, and pushes my hair back from my face. I force myself not to react under his touch, to hide the disgust I feel when he touches me. I think he's okay for now, he doesn't look angry.

''Can we go?'' I ask. I know this isn't the right thing to do. Dean always makes the decisions, says when we can leave, or when we come home. Normally, he has a short temper but tonight, he lets it go. It's my lucky day.

''Whatever, Abbie.'' He sighs. ''Wear the damn Converse. I don't know why you're such a bitch, I only asked a question.''

'I'm sorry,'' I say sheepishly. I don't want him to get mad; we've only been together for two minutes and already I've pissed him off. I fear it's going to be a long night.

The cab's waiting downstairs. Once inside, Dean rubs his fingers against mine and I'm guessing he wants to hold my hand. At the moment, all I want is space. I need a few minutes to regain control of my emotions. Slowly breathing in and out does the trick. I'm going to see Muse; I should be super excited, not angry. I stare out of the window of the cab, trying to force a smile. Muse is my favorite band. Matthew Bellamy is kind of hot, too, and that's a bonus. Now, I manage a smile. WaMu Theatre, here I come!