Study Abroad (Harry Styles)

Chapter 15 - Tough Morning

Harry and I made a lovely dinner with no more than three minor problems, all of which can be traced back to me. Harry was right, he's a good cook. Like I said before, I am not, so when I tried to help him, I failed miserably. We had a lot of fun making dinner, both of us laughing as I accidentally put 2 ½ cups of flour in the dinner rolls instead of 1 ½.

What surprised me most though, was the fact that my family really liked Harry. My dad, who I thought was going to be horrible to him, was constantly trying to talk football, cheering on Detroit. He kept asking him how London was, how his job was, and everything else you could imagine. My family didn't come from a lot of money, however we weren't exactly poor. It didn't bother them that Harry was a mechanic, as it shouldn't. In fact, my dad clung to this. Dad wanted to know how he had learned about cars and they got on really well.

My mother was just as taken by Harry as I was, but for obvious different reasons. She took a liking to him as well, however I think half of her was just doing it so I could see that she approved of him. My mom was the one to ask Harry about his mother, sister, and how they all got along.

Even Danny liked Harry. There wasn't much conversation between them, but there was some friendly small talk, something my brother doesn't do often. I knew Danny was being kind because he knew I liked him.

I was thankful for my family being so approving and accepting of Harry, and so soon too. They all welcomed Harry with open arms, and it seems as Harry has quite possibly taken over my family. I can tell he likes my family too. I can see it in his eyes when he smiles and I can see it in his voice when he asks them questions.

Harry has distracted my family from the awful incident that has struck us, and turned our frowns, quite literally, upside down. I was forever grateful for Harry and everything he did for me. It was bittersweet for me though, knowing I had to live without him.

There was no way I could remain friends with Harry, it would be way too hard for me. I also couldn't be anything more with him, as he deserved somebody who could give Harry her whole self.

But seeing my family just attach to Harry makes me a little disappointed. I have never brought a man home, let alone a man from England. They all seem to like said man, and now I'm taking that away from them.

My mother was never one who could help me pick out my outfit and do my hair for my first date. My father was never one who could wait on the front porch, lights on with a rifle in hand. My brother was never one who could beat up a jerk because he broke his sister's heart.

And finally, they all see somebody that could potentially be something for me, and I'm taking it away. They want the best for me, and though it probably kills my father, I know he wants me to experience the whole falling in love thing. Not that I love Harry, it's way too soon for that, but I would like to think that if we continued this relationship, it was possible I could fall in love with Harry. I couldn't let that happen, though.

All of this bullshit was running through my head as I was lying in bed. I should be sleeping, but my brain wouldn't stop thinking for five minutes. I wanted Harry to hold me and to tell me everything was okay. I wanted to feel his arms hug my body as he kissed the top of my head and made my worries go away. But even if he wanted to, I wouldn't let him. So here I am, staring at my ceiling with tear-stained cheeks, crying for my grandpa, crying for the funeral, and crying for Harry.

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I suppose I did fall asleep sometime though, as I woke up around seven with puffy eyes and pale white skin. Saying I looked awful was an understatement. The family needed to be at the funeral from one until eight this evening, so we needed to leave around noon. I got in the shower and stayed under the hot water for at least an hour.