This Is Life

The past

~~~~~

Donny walked in with Flora and Michael after picking them up from preschool. Flora ran straight to me and jumped into my arms. "Hey Flo, how was preschool?"

"It was good. We played some games. Learned our letters."

"That's awesome Flora, I'm so proud of you. What about you Mike, did you have fun?" He nodded and came and sat beside me. He opened his mouth as if to say something and then closed it again tears beginning to build up. "It's okay buddy. Flo, can you go help daddy in the kitchen. I want to be able to talk to Mike alone."

"Yes mommy." She ran out and Michael started crying so I lifted him into my lap and held him close. He wrapped his arms around me and while I hated seeing my son upset, it felt amazing to have him cuddle up to me for the first time.

"Shhhh. It's okay buddy. It's alright. I can see how hard you're trying and I'm so proud of you."

"I...I... sorry mommy." I just held him close and rubbed his back.

"You don't need to be sorry Michael. You struggle with communication and that's okay. It's something we can work on, but we need to work on it slowly. I don't want to overwhelm you." He nodded against my chest. "I love you Michael."

"I love you too mommy." He whispered. "And you give the best cuddles." I kissed his forehead and smiled.

"Thanks buddy. And I love giving cuddles to my favourite people. And that's you, Flo and daddy. Flo said she started learning letters at preschool today, did you do that too?" I wanted to start by giving him yes no questions that he could expand on if he wanted to.

"Yes." He said with a nod.

"Did you enjoy learning?"

"Yeah. It was fun. One day I want to be able to write just like you and daddy can."

"And you'll be able to write very soon I'm sure." I smiled. "Do you remember how to spell your name? I know daddy taught you."

"Umm. M... I... C... H... A... E... L!" He said slowly and steadily, clearly thinking hard between each letter. He said the 'L' loudly and seeing his confidence grow just that small amount was amazing.

"That's amazing Michael. I'm so proud of you. I'm so so so proud."

"Will you still tell me the stories about Michael Trojan tonight."

"Of course. That's what I promised you last night." He giggled and for the first time in years I felt a connection with my son. "Let's go into the kitchen with Flo and daddy and see what they are up to. And I think you deserve a biscuit."

"Thank you." He said and I placed him down on the floor. He was about to run out but then turned to me and held his hand out. I smiled and took it and we walked to the kitchen together. "Daddy!" He said as soon as Donny was in sight. Donny walked over and crouched beside him.

"Hey Mike. Did you and mommy have a good conversation?"

"Yeah. I told her how I spell my name and she said she was proud of me."

"That's amazing buddy. And I know she is so proud of you. She loves you so much Michael."

"I love her too daddy. And I love you so much." He said giving Donny a tight hug.

"I love you too buddy. Do you want to help Flora and I bake cookies?"

"Yes please daddy." He walked off back to the actual kitchen and I sat at the table watching the three lights of my life baking. That's something I loved about Donny. He didn't fall for the stereotyping. He loved to bake just as much as I do. We both did house work, we both drove our car. We both cooked and cleaned and he also cared for the children. That's what I loved most about Donny as a father. He actually loved and cared for our kids unlike a lot of fathers who just earn the money for the household. After the kids finished baking I started to make them dinner. We were soon all sat down at the dinner table when the phone rang.