mahogany ; d.m

50 - longing

***

He had not returned.

Now having a clear mind and feeling better rested, Athena did not feel too bothered or disheartened by his absence. Only curious if anything.

She understood. Whatever it was he needed to do to stay alive, to keep as far from harm's way as possible, he had to stay dedicated. Even if that meant abandoning any other desire. In terms of survival, he could not afford to be so selfish, and neither could she.

However, it would be a lie to say she was indifferent to have not seen him for the entire day. Disappointment managed to claw its way through her.

And then he didn't arrive that evening, and was not present in the morning.

No sign the next evening, or the next, or the next.

She had received a note from him, left on the pillow she slept on, reading,

I'll be back with you soon, Greene. Forgive me.

She laughed at the note once she read it. It was blunt, possibly rushed. His regular scrawl that was rather satisfying to look at, appearing as if it had been written from another hand. But the way he wrote her name was familiar.

After a week or so, there had been no sign of him, no more notes, nothing. At this point she was certain he had left Hogwarts. Even Maeve hadn't seen him in days, nor had Blaise or Nott.

Her instincts advised her to worry, but she tried not to, heavily focusing on revision for the end of year exams that were to be happening in less than a months time. It was a distraction, something to channel her stress into.

But then she caught a glimpse of him in the Great Hall one morning, and it felt like seeing a ghost. She hadn't realised how much she had missed him until that moment. The sighting was ever so brief as she and her friends had been leaving the room when he had arrived.

He hadn't seen her.

After a while of the lonesome nights in his dormitory, she started to feel rather pathetic. Almost like she was waiting for him. And the disappointment that drained her when she'd wake to see him not there.

Therefore, she went back to her own dormitory for the first night in weeks. Hermione was pleasantly surprised, and made it obvious how pressing she was to ask about Athena's unexpected return. But she made sure not to mention Draco.

It was strange to be back in her own bed, almost unfamiliar which was odd considering she had slept in that bed since she was eleven.

But it felt a whole lot better falling to sleep and waking up without any expectations. Without having to miss him. It had only been one night since she had stopped sleeping in his room.

He was still in Hogwarts after all—just not with her.

The longing drained her. The anxiety of being separated from him was draining. Of not knowing, and not being able to speak to him. Almost like isolation—constantly in the dark. The frustration was unbearable. The silence was unbearable.

But she made do, going about her day as usual, pushing aside every inclination that concerned her of him.

She was alone and walking to her Astronomy lesson one afternoon when she next caught a glimpse of him. This time, however, he saw her too and she felt the desire to drop her books and run to him, like a dramatic scene out of a film.