He Was Never Yours To Begin With (COMPLETED)

Epilogue

"The countrymen of Jesus were fuming angry at him. Why were they angry? Because Jesus said, destroy this temple."

It's Sunday at napagpasyahan kong magsimba. Katabi ko ngayon ang anak kong si Luna na taimtim ding nakikinig sa homily ni Father Soc. Sa bandang unahan kami pumwesto, sapat na para marinig ang mga pangaral niya ngayong araw na ito.

"Ganito po 'yon. May tatlong ipinagyayabang ang tatlong hudyo. Ang una ay hari. Ang pangalawa ay lupa. At ang pangatlo ay templo."

It was four years already since that incident happened.

Ang daming nagbago. At kasabay ng pagbabagong 'yon ay marami akong napagnilay-nilayan. Mga bagay na napagtantong hindi ko akalaing makakayanan ko. Mga bagay na hindi ko akalaing malalampasan ko.

"Every Jew is proud of this three things. And why were the jews are angry when Jesus said destroy this temple? Because at that time, the land is occupied by the Romans. Because at that time, the kingdom was divided. And therefore, they only have one reason for being proud- the temple."

My Luna has just graduated from elementary school as the class valedictorian. Alam kong sa lahat ng pagbabagong nangyari- siya 'yong pinakanaapektuhan. At bilang isang ina, wala nang mas sasakit pa na makita mo ang sarili mong anak na nasasaktan.

That day, I made a biggest decision of my life- and I chose to let him go.

"Now, what is this saying to us? Before you judge the jews for being so unreasonable- I will ask you. What do you do, when something very precious to you is removed from you?"

My reverie was quickly interrupted when Father Soc said that. Si Argel ang unang pumasok sa isip ko nang marinig ang tanong na 'yon.

"Siyempre magagalit tayo. Masasaktan at sisisihin natin ang Diyos! Magagalit tayo sa mga nangyayari! Magkikimkim at magtatampo kapag hindi nasunod ang gusto natin, ang plano natin!"

I can't help but to smile. Ganyang ganyan ang naramdaman ko noon. I always pray to asked God, bakit kailangan kong pagdaanan lahat ng sakit?

Na bakit kailangan niya pang alisin sa buhay ko si Argel? Bakit kahit anong gawin ko, pilit siyang kumakawala sa'kin? Bakit hindi pwede na maging masayang pamilya nalang kami?

"But my dear brothers and sisters, it is good to be reminded today- that everything you loved will be taken away from you."

Something pierced my heart upon hearing his words. Everything I love will be taken away from me?

"Everybody you loved, will be taken away from you. Everything. Everybody you hold precious, will be removed from you."

His words lingered in my mind. Paulit-ulit na rumerehistro sa utak ko lahat ng mga sinabi niya. It was a painful reality. Parang sinampal sa'kin ang lahat ng katotohanang matagal ko nang hinahanapan ng kasagutan.

"Why? There is only one answer. They are not God."

Huminto ito saglit sa pagsasalita at naglakad sa harapan.

"They are not God and therefore they will be removed from us- because at the end of it all, only God will remain with us. Because when things become too much special from us, and we hold on to them very tightly- they actually become our Gods."