Winter Is Here // Game Of Thrones

Honor (Jaime POV)

"No, Audelia", I corrected him and he looked at me questioningly. "Joffrey has taken a liking at her", I inform him.

"No", he whispered. "But... why?".

"I have no idea but we need to do something to stop this. She doesn't want to marry him, and-", I begin explaining but he stopped me.

"How do you know that? Have you talked with her?", he asked.

"She didn't say it outloud but you could tell by her eyes and body language. She doesn't want it", I explain impatiently.

"Don't worry I will talk to her, and if she is indeed against the marriage to Joffrey, I will make sure to speak with Robert", assured me Eddard and I nodded, not completely satisfied by his reaction but it was better than nothing. "Why are you so worried about her?", he asked suddenly.

I hesitated before answering, considering my words carefully. "I don't want to see her hurt", I finally say, smiling genuinely and turning to leave.

"Do you care for her?", asked Eddard just as I reached the door, I slowly turn back to him.

"I do", I reply finally. I tried to guess what he was feeling, anger, disappointment but his face remained emotionless. It honestly creeped me out a bit.

"Stay away from her Kingslayer, stay away from my family. I don't want to see you talking to her, even looking at her or I will make sure I make your life a living hell", threatened Eddard and I clenched my jaw, refraining from saying something cocky.

"I can't stay away from her if she wants to me", I reply, smirking. He frowns at my words and then stands up, walking over to me. I expected him to stop in front of me because he didn't strike me as the aggressive type but he pushed me against the wall, hand on my neck.

"I see you talking to her, or even looking her way, gods be good, nothing will help you", he seethed, and let my collar go. I looked at him for a moment for a moment longer then walk out of the room.

Who knew the honorable Eddard Stark could get so angry?

As I stood guard by the King's room the next day, the laughter inside and the insults about my sister irritated but not as much as they used to. I let my mind wander, and I found myself thinking about the one, and only Audelia of House Stark. I had only seen a glimpse of her today, she looked as beautiful as any day. Her bright blue eyes had connected with mine and she had actually smiled genuinely.

Was it possible she felt the same for me?

No that couldn't be possible. I am the Kingslayer, Oathbreaker, the man without honor. And her family values Honor above almost everything else.

Even if she did feel the same, that wouldn't matter. She would have to get married, bear children, rule the castle of whichever High Lord he married. She would have to leave eventually. But I'll be here, guarding the whore King, dreaming about what me and her could have been until the rest of my days. 

When I joined the Kingsguard, I never thought I would regret it, until I did. Now I wish to be released from my vows and to become the heir my father always wanted. I want the freedom to decide. But that will never happen. Robert will never let me go, he loves torturing me too much, and Cercei will not allow me to leave either, she may act like she doesn't care about me, but I know she does.

"This is for the King from Lord Stark", announced a man I didn't know but I knew he was under Stark's command.

"Listen. Do you hear them? He likes to do this when I"m on duty. How many do you think are in there? Guess", I said as I turned to the man. He listened for a second and turned to me.

"Three, four?", he guessed and I nodded. "Forgive me, my lord".

"Why do I need to forgive you? Have you wronged me somehow?", I asked confused.

"We've met before you know", he replied, and I raised one eyebrow.

"Have we? Strange, I've forgotten", I say as I looked at him, trying to figure out where I've seen him.

"The siege of Pyke. We fought side by side that day", replied the man, and I sighed remembering that day. Great battle, nobody was able to be a match for me.

"That's where you got your scar?", I asked pointing on my face to the place he had his scar.

"Aye. One of the Greyjoys nearly took my eye", he replied and I chuckled.

"Vicious sons of whores", I curse under my breath.

"They like their bloodshed", he agreed.

"They stopped liking it at the end. That was a proper battle. D'you remember Thoros of Myr charging through the breach?", I asked, remembering that moment fondly.

"With his burning sword? I will remember that till my dying day", he said and we laughed.

"I saw the youngest of the Greyjoy lads at Winterfell. It was like seeing a shark on a mountaintop.", I add, remembering the young man. Theon was his name?

"Theon? He is a good lad", replied the man and I furrowed my eyebrows.

"I doubt it", I say, not believing his statement.

"Can I leave this with you? The message from Lord Stark?", asked the soldier but I shake my head.

"I don't serve Lord Stark", I reply coldly.

Luckily Jory didn't need to wait long, as the King was soon available and took the message. I was off duty for the rest of the day, and I wondered around the castle, hoping to see the Beauty that captured my heart but to no avail, she was nowhere to be seen. It bothered me truly, bad thoughts ran through my head. Kings Landing was not a safe place for sure, nowhere was.

I was about to go and find Audelia's sisters in hopes of them knowing where she was when one of Cercei's handmaid's approached me.

"Ser Jaime, her grace, Queen Cercei would like to see you", informed me the petite girl, no older than 18. I didn't spare her another glace and just began walking to Cercei's chambers impatiently. It better be something important.

"Dear brother", she greeted me as soon as I walked in. She had one of my favourite red dresses on, her hair in my favourite braids, and she was drinking wine. I knew where this was going but I had little desire to be share the bed with my sister.

"What is it Cercei? I'm busy", I ask impatiently and she stands up, walking over to me.

"I've missed you, and you've been pulling away lately, I think we both deserve a relaxing afternoon", she breathed out, her voice deepening. She began to undo my armour straps and usually I would be helping her with her dress but I made no move.

"Cercei, I-I can't", I stuttered. She was my weakness but I also knew that sleeping with her will make things only worse for me.

"And why not?", she asked, stopping abruptly and looking at me, anger in her eyes.

"I don't want to anymore. This has been going on for too long. I-I can't", I began but then she pressed her lips against mine and I knew I lost the battle. 

I had tried before to end things with her. She wasn't the best influence, and I had grown tired of her hurting me. But every single time, she found a way to change my mind. 

I pushed her against the wall, beginning to undress her while she helped me with my armour.

But strangely enough, the only thing I could think of when making love to Cercei, was Audelia and her sharing a bed with me. How her lips would feel against mine, what her hands would feel like against my skin. In that moment I decided, this was the last time with Cercei. And I would do my best to get out of the Kingsguard.

And make Audelia Stark of Winterfell mine.