loving you with borderline personality disorder

013

march 31, 2021

i'm so mad at you and i have no reason to be. every time i get mad at you i get mad at myself and then it turns into just wanting to kill myself for being irrationally mad at you over such stupid shit. it's just so little—why am i mad at you over it? you can do what you want. so why does it bother me?

you told me yesterday that we could hang out after work "tomorrow" (which is today), but then you leave early with michelle and leave me with these shitty coworkers. again, i can't be mad at you and i shouldn't be. you can do what you want. i guess you thought against hanging out with me today because it's going to rain today.

i don't know. i guess i am just hurt, but i shouldn't be. today all together just sucked. every day it feels like you realize you want me less and less, like everyone else eventually realizes the more time they spend with me.

i really am hoping that's not that case, but i can't help but dread that conclusion.