Karlnapity Oneshots !

This Is A Roller-coaster Of Emotions

CW/TW// self harm, suic1idal thoughts, self deprivation, eating disorder, therapy, cursing, sex references

Everyone has problems, some worse than others but everyone has them.

Quackity by far had it the worst out of his fiancé's and friends,

Major PTSD
Body image problems
Extremely low self esteem
Paranoia
Insomnia
Depression
Anxiety
It didn't help that he was a litteral doormat
Anything his fiancé's asked him to do *boom* he'd do it

Well not anything.

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"We love you so much baby, more than anything and you're so beautiful and perfect in every way you have to believe me" Karl said holding tightly onto the smallest of the three "We will never leave you ok, we will Always love you no matter what" Sapnap said while he ran his fingers through Quackity's jet black hair. Quackity smiled, kissed both of them and said with a shaky voice "I love you guys too..."

He had heard those words time and time again "We love you, you're perfect, you're beautiful, we'll never leave you" one of the few things Quackity couldn't bring himself to believe, no matter how much he tried he couldn't believe those words and for that he was constantly mad at Karl and Sapnap for lying to him all the time with this "I love you" bullshit. Of course Quackity loved them both but he knew deep down they didn't love him, in fact they hated him, that's what he repeated in his head everytime they would compliment him.

Quackity would constantly tell himself just how horrible his fiancé's were, "They lie to you everyday, they don't notice what you go through, if they really loved you they would know that you cut,they would know that you think about killing yourself every single day, They Would Know That You HATE Yourself, THEY WOULD HELP YOU"

He told himself this everyday even though he knew it wasn't true, he hides his problems extremely well, he had the perfect fake smile, so perfect in fact that the smile his fiancé's complimented all the time is his fake smile.

He had a routine. Looking in from the outside you'd think that he lives every day with a new story, but he didn't, he did the opposite.

•Wake up between 9am and 12pm.
•Check if you're in the same clothes you fell asleep in.
•Check there's no blood on your clothes and sheets.
•Make sure your alone before continuing.
•Go to the bathroom and lock the door.
•Insult yourself
•Insult your fiancé's
•Say good morning to your fiancé's
•Between now and around 4:30pm cuddle, snuggle, kiss, act happy, etc.
•At around 4:30pm excuse yourself to the bathroom.
•Puke up the food you had.
•Leave making sure you look fine and you smell fine.
•"Chill" with your fiancé's until you go to bed.
•Pretend to sleep until your fiancé's are asleep.
•Go to the bathroom.
•Hurt yourself.
•Cry.
•Go to sleep.

This may be a long list if things but it becomes protocol.
Add in streams, activities, occasionally sex (not recently), and a few other things that only happen every so often and there you have it.

Quackity's Life

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Quackity had grown to hate being comforted especially by his fiancé's,
It made him feel horrible about himself and everytime he kissed or hugged them he just wanted to push them away. He still loved them though "Right?"

//Sexual warning//

The only time he wanted to be close to them was during sex, it was the only time he was happy, it may sound gross or unhealthy but it's true. He hadn't had sex in about 4 and half months because of his self harm.
Sometimes he wanted to just get naked and not care, but he couldn't, he didn't want to explain it and he definitely didn't want to be comforted by him fiancé's "We love you baby, please stop, for us" It was absolute bullshit.