Catch Me If You Can (on hold)

I Will Fall

Shania, my mother rushed into the hospital just as I slipped my flats on. Shania isn't really my mother as she's somewhere in the safe walls of the castle, probably with another husband and another child. Just thinking about it made my stomach twist and churn with sadness but also disgust. Anyone who can do that while her child has been hidden away, maybe hurt or even buried beneath the ground encased in stone. 

"Baby girl are you alright?" she gushed, engulfing me in one of her massive hugs that squeeze all the air from your lungs. "I heard about the crash and rushed here as fast as I could and then I couldn't get in. There were so many cameras and reporters you'd think there was someone royal here!" she laughed, not realizing the truth in her words. 

"Ha ha, yeah, that would be absurd," I laughed, still slightly shocked about my simple reunion with Thomas. To be honest, when Shania adopted me from off the streets I always thought of telling her but as I grew older, so did Shania and with age comes the unfortunate trait of being susceptible. I knew telling her may put her in danger. It was the best thing to do. Right? 

Shania grabbed my hand and squeezed it comfortingly. I smiled up at her and let her walk me out of the hospital, luckily Thomas was well gone thus were the paparazzi. "At least you're well and safe, it's all I ask for. It's all I ever ask for." 

"Mummy, why is daddy not coming out of the bedroom for dinner?" 

The brown-haired beauty looked sadly down at me, I did not know I stirred up a fear inside her. "Daddy is very sick but when he gets better, he will join us for tea," she replied but her face was pained, a haunted expression in her eyes. Almost like she knew her answer was a lie. Like she knew my father would never recover. I nodded, not grasping the fact that my father was not going to see me for a while, and when he did, it would be the last time I look lovingly into his warm, chocolate eyes. I never, grasped that fact. Not when I was five, and not until I was fifteen. 

"OK, I'm going to play with Thomas after dinner, we are going to play dress up. He's going to be the king, and I'm going to be just like you!" 

My mum smiled ruefully and nodded, her thoughts already wandering on her ill-fated husband. "Have fun dear," she said, and walked slowly into the dining hall, I followed dog-like after. 

"Alessa, baby, why are you looking at me like that? Alessa it's scaring me, stop!" 

Shania's panicked tone shocked me out of my memory. "What?" I saw her wild eyes and peered into the windshield, trying hard to see my reflection. Horrified, I saw my feral expression and I stared at Shania who was still jumpy and agitated. "Holy, Shania I'm so sorry, I was thinking and a memory came to mind." I reasoned, hoping she wouldn't send me back to that guidance councillor. 

"Good or bad?" her voice was still shaky and I felt myself slip further down again. No, I just got back, I can't go back under, roaming with only my thoughts and memories. They would be the death of me! 

"Both I suppose," I answered, the guilt still fresh in my chest. I don't think i'tl ever go away now. I needed Thomas more than ever. He'd been gone for 11 years of my life and he's not slipping away again.

We pull up, back into our drive and I get out fast and rush for the door. I unlock the wooden door, my fingers fumbling with the key but once I managed it, I bolted past the kitchen and into the bathroom. I slammed the door and lean against it. I breathed out and slid down, sitting on the cold, tile floor. I placed my head inbetween my knees and counted to thirty, making my breaths even. In and out. In and out. 

What was I going to do? I couldn't slip back into depression. I know, I needed my prince.