Hoodie Hoodie | Changjin

Chapter 17

"Hyung," Hyunjin started, but any more words died in his mouth.

"Hyunjinnie," Changbin replied, something like wonder in his voice.

"Uhm," Hyunjin blushed. Had these last few minutes really happened? He was in love with his roommate, definitely, but the happy bubble in his chest had turned into a block of concrete. "You don't have to say anything, hyung."

Changbin blinked. "What?"

"I..." Hyunjin looked at their joined hands, his own around Changbin's injured and bandaged one, Changbin's other hand lying in his lap, palm up. "I won't apologise for how I feel, but I know you have a crush on someone, and our fake dating situation already complicates that. So I'm saying... if you'd rather stop the fake dating now, let's just stop. Like... we're friends, right? It's okay that you don't feel the same. I'll be okay. We'll be okay."

"I – wait," Changbin furrowed his brows. "This is – very fast, I'm. Let's. Um, let's not make any decisions rashly, okay?" He brought his second hand on top of Hyunjin's and pressed down gently. "Just hold my hand for a moment, please?"

"Okay," Hyunjin smiled despite it slowly getting hard to breathe. He threaded his fingers with Changbin's, focusing on being careful with Changbin's bandage and on the warm skin of his uninjured hand. The back of his hand felt a little dry to the touch. Maybe he could give Changbin some hand lotion for that?

He didn't even know if Changbin liked hand lotion. Why couldn't Hyunjin think sometimes before he opened his mouth?

But would it be better if he tried to swallow the feelings he had for Changbin? No, definitely not. Hyunjin would just cry himself to sleep until Felix and Minho removed him from the situation, again. Changbin wasn't his ex, Changbin was Changbin and he was the best person Hyunjin knew. If anyone would be nice about getting a random confession of love from their roommate, it would be Changbin.

Changbin would break Hyunjin's heart in the best way, and Hyunjin would take it and one day move on, hopefully with a brand new couch. Who knew, maybe Changbin would give Hyunjin hoodie stealing privileges too.

Hyunjin would be okay.

"Hey, don't cry," Changbin said then, effectively ripping Hyunjin out of his spiralling thoughts.

"I'm not crying, hyung," Hyunjin blinked the wetness in his eyes away, ignoring the drop gathered in the corner of his eye. "Don't worry about me."

Changbin smiled sadly. "But I do worry about you, Hyunjinnie. I..." he chuckled, "I can't believe words are failing me right now, when I need them the most. So much for being a songwriter, huh?" He squeezed Hyunjin's hands. "So, um... can I borrow a kiss?"

What?

"I promise I'll return it," Changbin winked at him. He winked. And that was definitely one of the lines Chan used on Felix all the time to make him laugh.

"Hyung," Hyunjin was not proud of the noise that left his mouth next, and he let go of Changbin's uninjured hand to cup Changbin's cheek and lean in. He paused a breath away from Changbin's lips. "Yes?"

Changbin closed his eyes and closed the space between them.

It was a chaste kiss, just lips on lips, warm breath on skin. Hyunjin slowly tilted his head and deepened the kiss, and then he remembered that this was very possibly Changbin's first kiss and what were they doing? He made to move back but Changbin followed his movement, pressing closer and threading his fingers through Hyunjin's hair. Only then did they part.

"Hyunjinnie," Changbin's voice broke. His dark eyes didn't leave Hyunjin for a second. "I love you too. I have for a while now. All our friends say I'm being very obvious about it, but I guess I wasn't obvious enough. But, Hyunjin, I – you're great, how could I not? I mean, maybe it's a bit too early for marriage, but –"