madness - d.m.

In my very humble opinion,

everyone is a piece of shit.

Excuse my profanities, perhaps piece of garbage is a better way of putting it. I've met a lot of people, not many of them have been exceptionally straight-thinking. Maybe my old Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Remus Lupin, and that lady that works in that corner store in my street. Nobody at school but bloody hormonal teenagers all bickering about who's dating who and whatnot.

I suppose some are my friends, like Pansy -a very love-hate relationship-, Blaise, Theo, Maeve, Bea, Sarah, and that's practically it. I'm sure there's more but from what it feels the people I have just named aren't even my friends, so my question now is, do I try to find them or will they not even notice my absence.

Although I'm in no mood for very predictable yet still disappointing greetings and neglect by my friends, I decide to get the 'hello's' over with and slowly stroll through the carriages, taking my time while trying to find them.

I'd say I changed a lot over the summer. I've grown a bit, still not as much as I'd have liked to. My face got even slimmer and I've gained a few more pounds, making my body slightly curvier than before. I regrew my hair up to my ribs and dyed my naturally blonde hair to a dark brown.

Although summer usually comes with a tan, my face is ghastly white, and my eyebags are worse than ever. My hair sticks out from under my hood. I look like I've missed a month of slumber. I try to pull myself together a bit, I smooth down my hair and straighten my back.

Once I hear the nagging voice of Pansy I know I'm nearby, my heart skips a few beats. Will they not like me anymore? I didn't respond to any of their owls or visit them. They must be so angry with me.

I slide the compartment door open to see all my friends already seated. All my friends and Draco fucking Malfoy, the stupid fucking cunt that never seems to be able to shut his mouth. But my thoughts get interrupted by Sarah practically crushing me.

"Sarah- I can't breathe, calm down."

"Oh, sorry, I just haven't seen you in so long." She squeals excitedly but still somehow manages to glance a pitiful look at me.

"I'm sorry, it was just so fun at home, I didn't want to leave." I sarcastically say.

"Really?"

"Fuck no."

Bea and Sarah share quizzical looks while I stow my luggage overhead and squirm past my friends, sitting by the window.

"You dyed your hair," Blaise says from across me.

"Yep."

"You still look like shit though." He retorts.

"Thanks, means a lot." I roll my eyes.

Blaise is seated next to Draco, next sits Pansy practically on top of Draco, and then Theo. On the other side is me, Maeve, Bea, and Sarah. Last year Aria was sitting next to me probably fiddling with my rings while whispering sweet nothings in my ear. I shake the thought away.

"So Lyssa what did you do this summer"

"I kind of just stayed home, I went to Blaise quite a few times, we had dinner with our parents together about every week. I wouldn't be surprised if they're having threesomes, I also found this really cool muggle club, they're music was really good-" I go on.

I look around to only see Maeve and Blaise are looking at me, Theo is petting pansy's cat, Pansy is blushing up at Draco while he looks uninterested. Bea and Sarah giggle about something together.

Nobody is listening, you're talking too much it's annoying, they probably want you to sit somewhere else now.

"I don't know, not many interesting things happened. I'm gonna go to the bathroom." I quickly stand up, stepping over my friends and leaving my compartment.

I walk into the bathroom, leaning onto the sink. I look up to my reflection, anger and disgust washes over me. It hasn't even been a few minutes and you've already fucked it up, christ Lyssa, get it together. Why can't you just keep your mouth closed?

A tear rolls down my cheek, I wipe it quickly. Don't cry, crying makes you look weak, this shouldn't be affecting you. Nobody likes a crybaby.

I let out a shuddered breath, I rub my face, straighten my hair and posture and take a deep breath. I walk back to my compartment, keeping an emotionless expression on my face.

"Lyssa, Aria's also gonna be at school, are you gonna be okay?" Pansy asked while giving me a worried look.

"What exactly did she do?" Sarah asks. I sigh, Sarah has always been the forgetful one, I'm sure I've told her everything that happened at least three times but leave it to her to need to hear it for the fourth time.

"Hello??? Her manipulative ex? Doesn't ring a bell? Sarah, how do you not know? the whole school knew about it after the 'incident'!" Pansy says a bit too rude for a joke, one of her many increasingly irritating habits.

"What-"

"Anyways you're gonna have to see her again-" Bea directs the conversation back to the original question.

"Don't care" I cut off. My bluntness makes Theo, Blaise, and Draco all snap their heads at me. "What? It's been two months, besides, you all know I was over her before the relationship ended."

"We know that, but what happened was kind of traumatic, Lyssa," Blaise states, the rest warily eyeing me.

Don't let them know it affects you, It'll make you look weak, Lyssa.

"Nope."

"Alright then" Blaise shrugs, not trying to push it, yet they still give each other knowing looks.

"Seriously guys? I'm over her, for the last time how many times do I have to tell u guys." I groan.

"I'd be over her too, I mean wow she's a bitch" Pansy states.

"Yea and I'm a witch." I retort.

"What?"

"Oh sorry, I thought we were stating the obvious." I smile sarcastically to her. This earns a laugh from Draco, why is he even here? I roll my eyes.

"Alright, can we talk about something else?" Pansy asks, giving me a dirty look, I'm definitely getting a lecture from her again about what to say and whatnot. She can be such an annoying control freak sometimes but she's probably right, do yourself a favor, don't talk until you're back in your dorm.

"Blaise how was Italy?" Bea asks, she always favors Blaise a little, she definitely has a crush on him.

"The hottest girls let me tell you.." He exclaims as Bea's smile falters.

"How many did you shag?" Theo asks,

"Lost count," he smirks.

"Wicked," Theo high-fives Blaise.

I slump in my seat, looking out the window, the boys quickly pick up a new conversation between them. I space out a bit until my train of thought gets interrupted.

I feel eyes on me so I look up and spot Draco staring at me deeply, he quickly looks away. I notice pansy is sleeping leaning on his shoulder he has a scowl on his face while leaning to the other side, failing miserably to keep a distance from her

I smirk finding his unsuccessful hunt for a casual fuck amusing. He's now forever stuck with a clingy immature girl. Deserved.

I fall back into a deep slumber.