The Cult of Romeo

XIX. La Vie En Rose

I didn't immediately enter the waiting room when I arrived. I stood to the side and peered through the window at my brother. He had angled himself to face a man with curly red hair as they talked quietly to one another, leaning too close to be strangers but too gentle to be friends. Dazed flashes of the night Khaleel was stabbed flew through my head and I was certain I saw a glow of ginger hair that could've belonged to him.

Smoke sizzled in the air creating a gentle atmosphere around Henri, and I observed him freely. The furrow between his brows was enough to show me how troubled his mind was right now, despite how lively the words seemed coming out of his mouth. His red-head friend didn't notice the inner turmoil as he continued on to talk and talk obliviously. My brother appeared to like it.

Henri, though obviously distressed right now, looked more at peace than I'd ever seen him. For one, he wasn't having a panic attack and he used to have those all the time. Even if he didn't want me to see, I did. He also had deep laugh lines that made him look older but certainly happier. He was glowing with fulfilment and I couldn't lie and say I wasn't jealous.

He didn't really look like the same Henri that I knew before. It was as if he'd forgotten every single thing about our life and had adopted this brand new world. New friends, new clothes, new face. But, when his eyes snapped to mine after he'd caught me sneaking, I knew that if he'd kept anything from our time together as a family, it would've been that sharpness. 

I finally walked past the window, through the door and into the smoke with Julien hot on my heels. My steps were hesitant and shy but suddenly, Henri seemed even more anxious than I did. He wrung his fingers as his head hung low with shame. 

"Henri?" I asked but it came out more like a whisper. A heart-wrenching breath that broke off and echoed against the sitting room walls. 

His friend stood first, sending me a wobbly smile and dusted off his trousers. "I'll give you some privacy." The redhead's accent was thick and deep and difficult to understand but I nodded as he gently patted my shoulder on the way past. 

My brother's eyes were still stuck to the floor and I stood in front of him, feeling awkward and out of place. 

"So, you're still alive?" 

My statement brought his gaze back to me. His eyes were wide as they bugged from his head in a panicked manner. He tucked his palms under his thighs and his breaths were deep. 

"I'm sorry-" 

"You're meant to be dead. You committed suicide! I was at your funeral, Henri." 

His face crumpled in pain and his eyes softened with so much sadness that it tore me apart. 

"I didn't mean to hurt you-" 

"You never stuck around to show me about Burton Abbey like you promised you would. I was so lost on the first day because I couldn't imagine a world where my brother had gone anywhere near those hallways. I cleaned out your room all on my own when Mum cried so much that she threw up. I was all on my own when dad needed me for the visions! Those business parties with creepy old men are especially bad when you don't have your big brother to look after you. It wasn't just the parties, though. I need you everywhere. We were a team, and then you quit!" 

My eyes burned but I swallowed the knot in my throat until I felt my skin simmer down. Henri seemed taken aback, perhaps he wasn't expecting these boisterous words to come from his baby sister and Julien was silent as he dissolved into the background.