Everything that women 'are' and 'are not' - For the women to rediscover themselves | For the men who want to know women more | For everyone irrespective of gender or sexual orientation that wants to know the inside secrets of a 'woman' | A collectio...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"Wow! You look stunning," She claps her hands I look at the mirror and gasp Then I fluff up my hair and the marks Are covered by my hair strands.
"Now click!" I smile at the camera My hands slowly crossing over Hugging each other in a semblance Of a false sense of security And an insecurity for ever.
"What's wrong?" she asks My fingers trace the silvery lines Criss-crossing like a tiger's stripes Creeping up on the inner side Like gorgeous ornate vines.
"I feel conscious," I sigh Beautiful they are, yes and no Beautiful to admire yourself But ugly and so undesirable for the world Which just judges the 'show'.
"Stretch marks are okay," she insists As I hug myself more and more tight Because this wasn't a matter of acceptance Or of self love and body positivity It was just a silent, subtle fight.
Me pitted against me My body, my skin, my stretch mark Against the common idea of 'beauty' And the ingrained ideas of 'perfect' And the silent disapprovals so dark.
"Accept yourself," she says It just doesn't matter any more You're just beautiful the way you are She gently pries away my hands And my skin somehow still feels sore
As if those marks aren't normal As if they're a scar from a scratch bad A scratch of a memory in my brain Drawing the blood from self acceptance And taping together with 'empathy'... Sad.
"I am used to it now! I'm okay," Looking at myself in the mirror I whisper. I whisper it again in my head Just so that it feels real, the acceptance Not just fake words of a comforter.
"You're beautiful. Stop being awkward," She sighs in annoyance again I finally take in deep breaths and sigh Letting out years worth of memories Good and bad and worse of them do rain.
It's really too easy to say 'accept yourself' But when the negative talk around Becomes the 'negative self talk' Then... "I am not worthy. I'm ugly." Is the only buzzing sound.
She hugs me finally and whispers in my ear "I know how you feel right now But trust me you're beautiful and Those marks are your pride to wear. Not the shame you're taught to believe somehow"
I smile finally, letting my guard down The stretch marks are smiling at me Silver on almond, stripes of a tiger, like A fault in a jewel or that one flawed stamp It's uniquely and gorgeously mine to be!
——————
Author's Note : Yesterday I tried on a sleeveless dress for the first time and got somehow conscious about my stretch marks glaring at me from the mirror. I've always said I'm okay with how I look. I'm okay with the weight, the bullying and the comments. Also I've learnt to ignore the negative and embrace the positive. But does it really mean these thoughts never cross my mind? Or how 'unfit', 'unconventional' or 'wild' I am. I know it's just negative self talk, but when you've grown up watching advertisements of oils to deal with stretch marks, as if they're things to hide... You grow up to be this uncertain apprehensive adult who has her doubts and less confidence everytime.
