Once upon a lifetime

Theory - Part one

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"Ahh," Lan Xichen exhaled, eyes closed and lips pursed into a smile as he took a sip of his tea. "What a delightful day this is, Wangji."

"Mn," Lan Wangji replied, his fists clenched on his lap. "Xiongzhang, I..."

"You have troubles that you wish for your big brother to advise you with, correct?" Lan Xichen said.

'Yes..! A chance to be a true big brother that Wangji can rely on!'

"...Mn," Lan Wangji replied. "Xiongzhang, well.. it's about..."

"Friendship, I suppose?"

"....Mn," Lan Wangji hummed, his ears beginning to fade into a shade of red.

"My wisdom is at your command, Wangji. Tell me all of your secrets! Explain to me your affection for Young Master Wei!"

.....was what Lan Xichen wanted to say, but refrained from doing so out of consideration. Instead, he voiced, "I've noticed that you and Young Master Wei have grown quite close. Why, is there something of concern?"

"No," Lan Wangji replied. "I just... I just..."

"Go on," Lan Xichen encouraged.

"I... I want to be his friend!"

"Ah..." Lan Xichen smiled. "I see. But Wangji, have you never considered that you two are already friends?"

Lan Wangji replied, his head lowered. "...Wangji hasn't."

"But you want to be able to do things that friends normally do, yes?"

".....Yes."

Lan Xichen almost wept tears in sheer happiness. 'Wangji is making friends! After all these years!'

"Wangji, just out of curiosity, what brought this sudden epiphany upon you?"

"I..." Lan Wangji closed his eyes. "I saw Wei Yi... Wei-gongzi with Nie Huaisang. They looked... like they were having fun."

"Ah, Huaisang, was it?" Lan Xichen made an internal note to thank the boy later. "So after that, you thought 'I want to be like that with Wei-gongzi, therefore becoming his friend' ?"

With much passion, Lan Wangji replied, "Yes!"

Lan Xichen almost startled at his enthusiasm. "Wangji, it's best to keep this a secret from uncle. While I'm sure he'd be happy to hear about your new friend.... he would probably Qi deviate due to it being Wei Wuxian."

"Why?"

"Wangji, please don't ask questions that you already know the answer to." Lan Xichen said. "I have a plan, Wangji. Just remember to report to me whether it worked or not, okay?"

"Mn."

"Now, I will tell you how to court someone the proper way. I've read many romance— I mean friendship-based novels that we can use as reference." Lan Xichen wheezed.

"Court? Xiongzhang, I don't-"

"Of course, silly me; I meant befriend. Yes, befriend."

"Mn..."

***

How to befriend Wei Wuxian

SCHEME ONE: Money

"No normal person would refuse money, would they?" Lan Xichen confidently remarked. "Wangji, take this bag of taels; I'm sure Young Master Wei would appreciate it."