Tired

Family

Let me skip into a crazy part that happened not too long ago.

I came back from my dad's. He dropped me off. My stepmom is kind of like a therapist. I talk to her about everything. But there are times where I want to talk to my mom but she just worries.

Anyways, when I came home my Nana and Tata were there. It was odd. My mom was there drunk.

When I stepped into the house my Nana started telling me things like I'm old enough to take care of my mom and not to sleep until she does. She said something happened but didn't tell me. She also said that she got really scared. I still don't know why.

I don't like talking to my mom when she's drunk. I absolutely hate it. I needed someone to talk to so I talked to my stepmom. I honestly didn't expect her to tell my dad but she did.

My dad said he was going to pick me up. I got so scared and I told him no. My mom doesn't like my dad at all. I knew it was going to start something.

I would be in the middle of it. I'm already tired. I don't want anymore to deal with. They called me and said that it isn't okay for an irresponsible adult to take care of me.

Which I completely agree but I'm used to it. I still said I was okay and that they didn't need to pick me up.

After that, I cried. I cried so much. I had to take care of my mom. It's really annoying but I wiped my tears and went to sleep after my mom did.

I would like to tell her how I feel but she wouldn't listen.

To this day, I still don't know what happened. Usually, I get in the middle of things. It's not my intention, I swear. I hate it.

I've told my mom how I felt when I'm in the middle of things but she tells me it's my fault.

I sleep a lot nowadays. They call me lazy for it. I'm just not motivated to do anything. I'm tired of everything.

My mom is scared I'm going to do something. This is what I mean by worrying. She also quit her job. In the middle of a pandemic.

I haven't eaten much. Not because I don't want to eat it's because we have nothing.

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

I'm hungry. At school, I've pretty much ruined all my friendships. Now, I don't care about friends too much. They all leave you at some point.

I have a couple of friends. But lately, I feel like I've been drifting apart. I seriously love them will all my heart. It hurts to see me and them falling apart.

I'm always mad for some reason. I try not to be. I always say something to my friends. And that's how I lose friends.

I just want a friend who won't leave me. Even if I do say something rude, instead of saying " That's mean and wrong" I want them to say " Are you okay? I'm here for you always my idiot."

I'm not saying that I'm not happy with the friends I have now but I'm just saying it would be nice to have a friend that can read your mind.

Lots of people care about boys. I had a sleepover with one of my childhood friends a month ago. She talked about boys the entire time. No one cares about a 13 yr old boy who will never notice you.

But then again I love 7 men called bts. I don't care what anyone says. When I say I hate men I don't mean bts.

Men are replaceable. Except bts.

I'll be in 7th grade soon. My family are shocked by it. I don't think it's a big deal. I just know 7th grade is gonna suck.

That's my last update for now. I'll type again tomorrow or something. Bye!