Humans are Space Orcs

The Various Deadly Traits of Humans

Subject: Humans or Terrans

Purpose of report: The various deadly traits of humans

By: Lead Scientist H.S. Hartford

To: The Galactic Peacekeepers Federation

Date: 2/7/2792

The Various Deadly Traits of Human Kind

I am writing this report to the committee to inform all of you about the dangerous traits we have discovered humans possess through our thorough observations. Before we start this article there area few things I must inform all of you of as many of you have never even seen a human before and have little knowledge of them.

For the purpose of this report, Terrans will now be called the name they have given themselves, humans. Humans are bipedal creatures that can live roughly 80 years depending on the human. They range in height from roughly 4'8 to 6'2, although there are extreme cases in which humans can be shorter or taller than that. Their weight can range from 100lbs all the way to 400lbs, although the healthiest and most common weight for humans seems to be somewhere in between these weights. Due to the lack of contact, we have with humans we cannot determine the average and desirable weight and height of their species although it is important to bear in mind that average and desirable height and weight do vary between male and female humans.

With that being said we do have some concerns with humans. Compared to the many different intelligent species that are here today, as well as the many species that humans share a planet with, humans are not strong, or fast. Compared to us, they are average, to many other species residing on their planet they are slow and fairly weak. That being said they are at the top of their planet's food chain for a reason. We have found that humans possess several amazing yet deadly traits. These include incredible resilience, creativity and curiosity, incredible stamina, and a pack mentality unlike any other we have seen to date. I will now go into further detail concerning each of these traits and why I have developed such a concern for them.

Humans possess an incredible amount of mental resilience, what I am more concerned about though is their physical resilience. Humans have been observed sustaining various injuries that would kill or cause extreme damage to any intelligent species currently on the committee. Humans have been observed being impaled multiple times with handheld weapons such as knives and continuing to fight. Humans have also been observed to be impaled by long-range projectiles, such as guns, and were still able to continue on. In fact, humans, by our standards, are virtually unkillable by most forms of short-term damage, that being said they do appear to be extremely susceptible to long-term damage. To put it into simpler terms, rarely do humans die a swift death, their deaths are slow and painful. Other observations we have made is the fact that as long as a wound does not kill a human within the first 16 hours the human is not only most likely able to survive, they can possibly regenerate what they have lost. We have observed humans regrowing small bits of appendages such as their fingers, they have also been observed regrowing cartilage, fat, bone, and some organs such as the liver. Some practices performed by humans are not only horrible but demonstrate this resilience. It is common for humans as young as 1 year old to be stabbed through the ear for the purposes of increasing their physical attraction (See file: Ear Piercing). We have also found a tradition in which the humans place gold rings around their neck in an attempt to stretch it out very far (See file: The Kayan people). The last thing I will go over in this paragraph is most likely also the most disturbing part of this trait. Humans, if put into a life or death situation, have the ability to turn off their pain response, it is unknown whether or not humans do this consciously. Humans call this hysterical strength, and it is widely unresearched by their own scientists as well. But humans have been seen lifting extremely heavy motorized vehicles due to this phenomenon, as well as running faster than believed possible. To summarize, my main concern in this paragraph is the physical resilience humans seem to possess against almost all forms of physical damages.

My next concern about the human species is their creativity and curiosity, that being said they are not more creative or more curious than anyone of our species, but it is different. Let's start with their creativity, humans have been observed coming up with extremely creative ways to solve problems or tackle issues. They are able to use improvised materials and/or ideas to accomplish a task when the necessary tools are not present. Our concern about this is their ability to use improvised weapons when in battle. (See file: Arnold Swarcheneggar) (See file: J. Chan). Our other concern is not so much their curiosity but, a human's tendency to place their curiosity at a greater importance than their own health and safety. Humans have been observed dealing with dangerous and/or radioactive substances, these humans seem to value their experiments with the substances over their lives and wellbeings. (See file: Marie Curie). This curiosity and creativity is a main concern we have that I believe you all must know about.

Another concern of mine is the incredible amount of stamina they possess. Humans, without a doubt, possess more endurance than almost any animal on their planet. They also possess greater endurance than any intelligent species on the Galactic Peacekeepers Federation. They have the ability to walk without stopping for long periods, up to days, at a time without stopping. This may not sound dangerous at first, but let me put it into perspective. Human's ancient version of hunting was not hitting or stabbing their prey, it was walking after them until they were so exhausted they died. Imagine running very far away from a human and then stopping to sleep or take a drink of water, and then an hour later, the same human shows up, and this continues for hours until you are too exhausted to continue. Additionally compared to most intelligent species, humans need little food and water to survive. While most of us must consume a total of 5000 calories a day to maintain a healthy diet and most of us can only go a maximum of 4 Earth days without any sustenance, humans only need 2000 calories a day to maintain a healthy weight and can go up to 3 Earth weeks without eating. Additionally, while most of us are unable to go for more than a full Earth day without water for 3 days. These attributes give us legitimate fear of the human species and their extraordinary abilities.

The final concern I will be addressing today takes a bit of explaining, it has less to do with individual humans and is more of a fear of humans as a group. We have noticed that humans seem to have a mentality that places the good of the group over individual needs. We have seen humans go as far as sacrificing their own lives and well-being for the good of the group, this has been seen in some species, but not to this extent which is why we find it so fascinating. Additionally, humans are able to create bonds that instill this mentality extremely quickly, in some instances humans will sacrifice themselves for people that they have had no perceived contact with before sacrifice. This phenomenon requires more research to fully understand which is why I am also requesting additional grant money of up to 100,000 quobels in order to continue or research on the human species.

Members of the Galactic Peacekeeping Committee I thank you for taking the time to read this report as I know you have quite a busy schedule. I hope you can all find it within yourselves to give me this grant so I may continue my research on this intricate species. Please enjoy the rest of your day and let me know if you have any questions regarding the humans or my research.

Lead Researcher H.S. Hartford.