Oh Captain My Captain! (Haikyuu)

Chapter 19

When the days practice was over and everyone was cleaning up a bunch of boys surrounded you blocking you from being able to run away.

"Baby owl why are you avoiding us?" Bokuto asked in a very sad tone.

"Yea Chibi-chan, I wasn't even in your dream but your avoiding me. Kenma is even sad, so what's going on?" Kuroo asked a little annoyed.

"I'm not avoiding you guys, I've just been busy" You fake smiled.

"Please don't lie Darling, just tell us what's going on" Akaashi said in an empathetic tone.

"I'm sorry guys, I didn't mean to avoid you. Just thought it might be best to have a little separation is all." You half ass explained.

"Separation huh?" Kuroo asked, you could see he was hurt by your remark. He turned and walked away obviously upset. You released a deep sigh and looked at the rest of the guys.

"I really am sorry guy's, I was just embarrassed is all. Can I make it up to you guys tonight?" you asked.

"It'll only be made up to me if you cuddle with me" Bokuto said crossing his arms.

"I can't tonight, I owe Kuroo cuddles from the first night, if he still wants to that is" You said with another sigh. "How about I make it up to you by telling you about the surprise I have planned for when camp is over? I havn't told anyone the full details yet, so you guys could know first" You tried enticing them.

"Fine what's the surprise!" Bokuto said excited.

"Okay so when camp is over, you are all invited to come on a trip with me! Your coaches have already cleared it with your parents so it's just a matter of if you want to go. I've planned a fun camping trip for us! Sleeping in tents, campfires, all the smores you can eat, a beautiful lake and natural hot spring to swim in. Plus I have a ton of fun things planned for when we are there, like paint balling, giant inflatables on the lake, atv rides, and of course volleyball!" you could see the smiles and looks of excitement slowly creep onto everyone's face as you talked.

"You planned all of that for us?" Akaashi asked.

"Technically I hadn't met some of you yet, but I had a feeling you guys would be cool, so I had Ukai get with all of your coaches and make sure we were good. I knew the Karasuno and Nekoma guys would be in, but even they don't know about this yet! Planned to wait a few more days to tell them about it!" you smiled at them.

"This is awesome! I can't wait! We can share a tent, I can see you in a bikini, and feed you smores" Bokuto smiled counting out all the things he wanted to do on his fingers.

"Oh yea? Sounds like a lot of fun Bokuto, I'm glad your in!" you gave him a quick hug making him blush. "If you guys will excuse me though, ill meet everyone at dinner okay? You flashed them a quick smile and headed off in the direction you had seen Kuroo walk off.

It took a bit of searching but you finally found him sitting out on the hill watching the sunset. You walked up next to him and set down on the grass by his side.

"I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to hurt your feelings, I was just embarrassed." You leaned your head against his arm, and you could feel him relax at your touch.

"Its my own fault that I'm upset, you didn't do anything. What I'm about to say is probably going to scare you off but I've just gotta get it off my chest." He turned towards you looking you in the eyes. "I don't want separation, I unfortunately have developed pretty deep feelings for you. I know you are not really into relationships though and I can deal with that, but please don't cut me out of the equation." He looked down at your hands which he had somehow taken in his during his confession.

You sat there for a few seconds taking in what he had said. You did like spending time with him and he made things fun and exciting but he was right, you weren't a relationship person. You used to be, you had dedicated your entire self to an ex, changing who you were fundamentally, but he always chose things over you. When he finally ended thing's you were a broken shadow of who you used to be, it took years to feel happy with yourself again. You changed how you looked, how you dressed and how you acted and finally felt like the person who you wanted to be. Life was fun, you had great experiences, great friends, great sex, and that was a hard thing to give up.

"Thank you for telling me, I love spending time with you too. You really do make things so much fun and I don't want that to stop. Like you said though I'm not ready for a relationship, because the last time I was in one I forgot who I was. I became this doll that was changed to fit his views of what I should be and it left me miserable. I'm not saying you would be like that, I know not everyone would be a repeat of him. The problem is I've only recently found out who I am, and I'm not willing to risk losing that yet. I promise I won't cut you out though, I was just in a weird place these last few days." You pulled him into a hug. He pulled you closer pulling you into his lap, nuzzling into your hair.

"Okay good, id hate to lose you" he whispered.

"That's never something you need to worry about, id miss my giant sexy beadhead" you chuckled. "Plus I owe you cuddles tonight, if you still want them"

"Of course I want them, will you wear my shirt?" he asked.

"Absolutely!" he chuckled at your response.

The two of you sat like that for a few more minutes, watching as the sun slowly faded behind the hill. Once it had set you both got up heading to the dining room hoping that there was still food left. There luckily was a bunch left so you quickly found seats and started stuffing your faces. When full you followed everyone up to the boys room.

"So what's the plan for tonight boys?" you walked in sitting down criss cross by a few of them.

"I say we play another game of truth or dare" Noya said wiggling his eyebrows.

"Yea, I don't think so. Last time everyone only asked me, and now there are several more of you." You laughed.

"I promise we won't pick you everytime!" Noya exclaimed. You sat there for a minutes thinking.

"Fine, but if it does become that I'm ending the game and we are playing something else, deal?" he thought for a second and then shook your hand confirming the deal.