Worst Impressions

Bonus Chapter - Oh, shit.

For one blissful moment, I was kissing Beth Bennett.

The girl who'd tormented my every waking moment almost since the day I'd met her was here with me, in Paris, in my arms and kissing me.

No, not kissing me. She was being kissed by me. It was clear even in those few moments that our mouths were pressed together that she wasn't returning the gesture.

Just in case she hadn't made her feelings on the situation perfectly clear – said feelings being disgust and horror – Beth pushed me back a step before swinging her hand at my face. I realised her intention too late and was struck full force into the cheek. My head snapped to the side; my eyes widened as the stinging pain needled through my skin where her palm had connected.

'What is wrong with you?' I shouted at her, more out of shock than outrage. Not that I was happy that she'd struck me, but still, I was surprised that she'd reacted so violently. No one had ever slapped me before. 'I thought you'd be happy!'

'Happy? What, because you're such an amazing catch?' she shot back.

'Yes!' I agreed. I was far better than Wyatt and Freddie in almost every regard. Hell, I was better than any of the men that she'd ever hope to meet in her own social circle for the rest of her life in every way that mattered. 'I'm rich, handsome, my standing in society is –'

'Okay, first,' she interrupted, 'your standing in my society right now is lower than a rat.'

'A rat?!'

'Yes, because rats are more intelligent than you!' she continued to yell. 'Second, no one should refer to themselves as being handsome. Check your ego, you total dick! Lastly, and probably most importantly, the only feeling that I have for you is complete hatred! You insulted my mum, my friends, me, and then you expect me to snog you? Do you even know how relationships work? Have you ever even told a girl that you like her before?'

'I don't –' I stammered, far too taken aback to fight back against everything that she'd said. There were no lies, there. No points upon which I could dispute her interpretation of my declaration. I'd known as I was saying it that I was making a mess of things, but I'd been completely incapable of stopping myself.

'Not to mention,' she continued, undeterred, 'that you broke my friend's heart by interfering in her life!'

'Your friend's –'

'Jenny! You decided that she wasn't good enough for Charlie, and you made his parents transfer him to Switzerland! Jesus William, that's overkill by anyone's standards! She's the nicest, sweetest, most innocent person in the world, and she loved him! What the hell were you thinking?'

Okay, now she had crossed a line.

'Are you done?' I all but snarled at her. Beth seemed cowed by my tone momentarily. When I was confident that she wasn't about to shout over me, I admitted without remorse, 'I was happy to get Charlie away from your friend. It doesn't matter that your friends have money, they're still not fit to be a part of decent society. Jenny was nice enough, but if he fell in with the rest of you, then he'd have been the laughingstock of everyone he knows! Christ, I should have taken my own advice and stayed away from you. You have nothing to offer a relationship and I still –'

'Is that how you measure the people you pick to be your friends? By their bank balance? Is that why you were such an arse to Gideon? Because he was poor like me?'

'Gideon?' I bristled at the mention of his name. I'd thought that Beth's sudden interest in Freddie meant that she'd put him out of her head, but apparently, he still had her under his spell. 'What's he got to do with anything? Oh,' I shook my head in disbelief, 'don't tell me. He's another one of your boyfriends? I could see that Wyatt was interested, but I didn't think you'd be stupid enough to fall for –'

'He's not. I only like him as a friend and a teacher. He told me everything about when he worked in your school. You almost ruined his career, and he could have gone to prison. How can you treat anyone like that? What is wrong with you?'

'And this is what you think about me?'

I should have expected it. Of course, Gideon wouldn't have told her a single truth about our past together. I didn't dare think the lies he'd spewed to everyone he met about how he'd been badly treated by the Darcy family. I dreaded to think just how far those lies had spread and the damage that they'd cause to my sister if they reached her ears.

'This is why I hate you,' she corrected. 'And why I wouldn't have said yes, even if you hadn't asked me out in the middle of completely insulting me!'

'I was just telling the truth!'

'You were being spiteful! Because you can't say anything without turning it into something poisonous!'

'So, I should be happy that the girl I like is going to drag down people's opinions of me?'

I thought that it was a fair point to make. I might have been able to see past the risks that her social standing posed, even the behaviour of her friends and her mother, but no one else would. Madame Courtenay had made her dislike for Beth clear and, while I didn't give two hoots what the woman had to say about my personal life, her opinions would be shared by many people in my society. I would be subject to gossip and rumours just for holding onto a friendship with a person like Beth Bennett, never mind having a relationship with her.

Beth fell quiet again. I knew now that this wasn't a good thing. If she fell silent it wasn't because I had somehow won our argument. In fact, I didn't believe that there could be a winner in this situation. No, her silence meant that either she had been driven to such a level of rage that there weren't enough words in the English language to convey it.

With forced calm, she said, 'I'm going inside, and I'm going to bed. In the morning, I'm leaving. And I never want to see you again.'

'Fine by me,' I replied before I had thoroughly considered what that might mean.

When we arrived at the house, Beth was sternly lectured by her mother. It was a hypocritical speech on morals from a woman who seemed to lack them in every regard, but I knew better than to speak out in defence of either woman. If Beth didn't want me to be a part of her life, then I wasn't about to involve myself in her family's affairs. Instead, I ruminated on what she'd said about my treatment of Gideon and how I should best relate his behaviour to my mother and sister. We would need to prepare ourselves to counter any rumours and lies that came our way without betraying the secrets we'd kept about our dealings with him.

And I would need to start by setting the record straight with Beth.

That night, I considered how to do just that.

Beth could drop a phone call, interrupt a conversation, and delete an e-mail should I opt for any of those routes.

She could also tear up a letter, but it seemed the safest option. Even if she ripped it to shreds, she might tape it back together and continue to read what truths lay therein. It was my best shot at letting her hear my side of things. I couldn't control whether she'd believe any of it, but I deserved the chance to defend myself and my family against Gideon's claims. I didn't believe that it might improve my chances of a relationship with Beth.

I knew that I would need to make peace with the idea that she thought I was, as she'd said, a rat.

A rat I might have been, but I wasn't a liar, and I would make that entirely clear in my letter.

I began it simply, with the one word that had plagued me ever since we'd met. The singular syllable which had consumed me inside and out, driving me to the brink of madness with my infatuation.

Beth...