Youth | sunsun sunjay enhypen

Chapter 1- Autopilot

“If you repeat something over and over again, it loses its meaning.” 

Sunghoon was an obedient child.  His father had trained him to sit up straight or else he wouldn't be able to watch a cartoon, that was why his posture had always been great.  

Sunghoon was an obedient child.  His mother once suggested figure skating, and he had been gliding on ice for 7 years already. 

  Of course, Sunghoon wasn't good at it at first, but over the years, figure skating was something that had grown on him, something that was comfortable for him. 

Sunghoon was really an obedient type, so when his mother and father arranged for him to meet a potential partner, he went albeit reluctantly, despite his lack of desire for women or men as of the moment. He'd been worrying about the upcoming skating competition and his actual dreams--or lack thereof. Everyday, he felt like he was going through the motions, the routine. He would go to school, then to figure skating practice to prepare for competitions, do his homework, and then repeat. He was quite a famous player for his skills and looks, which he was aware of, so he didn't mind having fans. They didn’t bother him that much anyway. Don’t get him wrong— He loved his mother, and he didn't resent her for suggesting figure skating. He liked being good at something, the feeling he got while gliding on ice filled him with thrill— Or at least it used to be like that.

Nonetheless, Sunghoon was comfortable with the routine. He liked his life just as it was. But did he really?  

"If you repeat something over and over again, it loses its meaning."

  Maybe it was because he was a teen and in the coming of age part of his life, lately he'd been like his life was on autopilot without a direction. He wanted something more besides ice skating, yet he didn’t know what that thing was. Was he losing passion for figure skating? If figure skating wasn't meaningful to him anymore, then he'd be so lost. And it terrified him. So he always practiced, afraid of losing his love for figure skating.  

Thus, with his dilemma on his passion and all these thoughts he was having,  unlike boys his age, he did not have time for thinking of romantic pursuits. His mom did not think of these date arrangements solely as a romantic search, though, for it was business in nature as well no matter how much she denied it. Sunghoon was not of marrying age yet, so his mother had always tried to disguise her and her husband's ulterior motives as “helping Sunghoon make friends,” but Sunghoon had been on enough dates with daughters of his father's business partners to see that these arrangements were just to build or strengthen his father’s networking circles and also eventually help Sunghoon find a wise and desirable match in the future.They also figured that since Sunghoon had trouble making friends, he’d even have a harder time finding a girlfriend and future partner in life. Yet, despite knowing this, Sunghoon still agreed and continued to comply, because he loved his mother, and it was just occasional. Additionally, he was smart enough to find a loophole to get away with its consequences.  

Sitting comfortably in a corner by a tall window in a chic cafe, Sunghoon activated a button inside of his head while waiting for the girl he was meeting that day. It was as if he executed a program in his brain named "blind date.exe," which he had meticulously developed over the course of numerous dates. Okay, it was only 6 dates so far in the past year, but it was enough sample for him. The program contains codes and commands on how to act nicely but as boring as possible, making the other person lose interest in him. Clicking this button would make him go to another autopilot, so he wasn’t nervous or annoyed. Smile politely, let the girl do all the talking, share just enough information about himself that the other person wouldn't keep wanting for more but are also left not knowing what else to say. Most of the time the girl would politely end the date, and those who reached out afterwards hadn’t lasted since Sunghoon is the worst in texting and calling, and he had the perfect excuse for replying late or when they ask for another date. “Sorry, I was in figure skating practice.” “I can’t go, I have a figure skating practice.”