Hearts Of Love ~ Louis Partridge

19| Two Catastrophes

I weekly ran my trembling fingers through my hair, tears never escaping the brim of my eyes. My heart pounded so hard, it felt as if it will burst out of my ribcage.

My sorrowful and fiery eyes met his gaze. His eyes were glued to the floor, as he shook his head and bit his inner cheek. But those wrenching sobs tore through my chest.

My arms fell numb as I slowly lifted myself up from the chair, shaking. My breath hitched in my throat as I stumbled my way back down.

Everything is ruined

My biggest and most stupid mistake wasn't actually falling for him, but having an utter belief that he had fallen for me, too.

I balled my eyes out at that right moment, the same stinging pain came rushing back into my eyes. I fumbled to grab my car keys and clutched them inside my trembling fists.

"I don't like you", "I have never saw you anything more than a friend", "It was an accident"

His voice ringed inside my head, causing me shortness of breath. I panted. My whole face was filled with tears, every inch overpowered with guilt. The shattering noises of my heart were audible, to me, as I mumbled incoherent things to myself.

You know what hurts the most?

Getting hurt by the same person you explained all your pain to.

My lips trembled, my heart shattered into a million pieces terribly, but no one was present to fix it, no one.

I inserted the key, as the car started. I was almost ready to run out of this terrible mess when a car honk ringed in my ears. I turned my head around to peek through the window, Judy.

My eyebrows were knitted together as my sweaty palms left the steer wheel. Because of all the tears, my vision became blurry. I battled my eyelashes, my bloodshot eyes then caught the view.

She stopped her black car outside the door and got out. Then closed the door of her car and quickly shoved her hands in her pockets, as she moved into the house, her silky blonde hair falling on her face as she did so.

I looked back over the steering, Is she the reason why he.....?

My throbbing head couldn't process it all, thus I moved my car over the road and drove on the highway.

I sobbed, hitting the side of the steering wheel as the painful memories crossed my mind. The time he studied late at night, and I brought him coffee, God. And when he held me hand? That was the first time I felt those things, I shouldn't be feeling.

As soon as the flashbacks flew through, the push on the accelerator got harder as the engine made a loud noise from the effect.

There was no one on the highway except me; pretty much describes my situation right now, doesn't it?

All alone on the road of life. The people who once I trusted more than my own self left me solo on the path. Sounds pathetic right?

I once had a supportive mother who cared for me more than I did for myself, and then came a time I never heard from her. These 2 weeks were the climax of my life and never, not even a single time I heard from her in this span. She never checked on me, how was I. Was I even alive or not.

And then came that boy who came barging in my life. The person I never thought of being attached to this much. Who knew this boy whom I hated with all my guts would became the only reason of my happiness one day.

But just like this, he did it again. Crushed my feelings with a hammer and threw them into a trashcan. And what did I even do to deserve this?

Such a shame that I saw galaxies in his eyes and he wasn't able to find a single star in mine.

My cheeks burnt like fire from all the weeping. I patted my face, feeling the rising temperature of my skin. But that was nothing compared to the havoc inside me, I don't even know for how long can I hold myself up anymore. I wiped off my tears, leaving my eyes red and puffy.

The rising temperature of my body caused me to shiver slightly as the grip on the steering loosened up a little.

How do those people in the movies do it?

How can people sacrifice their lives for the people they love, wanting best for them? This tremendous world has everything we ask for and exactly like that, everything we don't want.

Do those people still exist in this world who destroy their own selves for their love? Does true love really makes you do that?

"Sacrificing your happiness for the happiness of the one you love is by far, the truest type of love"

Really, Then am I this unlikeable that not a single soul cares for me, care for my feelings?

All the love I got in this world went to Louis, the only thing left now is a crushed soul  which can't be fixed. I wish I could ignore him the way he ignored me, I wish, but in really can't. I can't forget him.

You can't forget how to breathe

But I just did. My breath was the only thing keeping me alive. And now I was panting heavily enough that I couldn't catch air anymore.

The eyes which have been crying for which feels like ages started to get blurry. My vision distorted as the buzzing sound in my head increased like mad. The sound kept on ringing in my head, which caused me to wince and I held my head with both of my hands.

None of my hands were controlling the steering. Just because of the devastating pain, my foot pushed harder on the accelerator and the car speeded up. Now my ears were under control of the pain, too.

I groaned as I glanced at the two headlights came accelerating in my direction. My hands couldn't reach the steering to do anything to stop the crash to happen, but the car continued to rush towards me in full speed.

I flinched, and the next thing I knew was the other car colliding with me with a loud bang.

blackout