Trust

Hard

Carrying my things up to the first floor of the students' flats feels weird. This is where San and Jimin and Juhee live. This is where Yeosang lived.

This is where I'm gonna live.

And although the thought of living together with San still makes me kinda nervous, at least I think I know what to expect - which is more than I can say about the previous times I had to move with my family.

Ulsan - 'What's Ulsan, Mom, Dad? Where are we going? I wanna stay in Busan with my friends!'

Yeongcheon - 'Oh really? Do we have to? ... Is there anything special about it?'

Daegu - 'Try to force me to move, huh? You can't move if I don't want to!'

Jeju - 'Sure, count me in. I bet there are some hot chicks-' uh, what?

Busan - 'Oh, for fuck's sake, just let me stay in Jeju.'

And now Seoul. My history of moving, although it had a few ups and downs, sucked in general. But standing here, in the first corridor of the students' flats, in front of my future flat... While Yeosang, carrying one of my smaller boxes, manages to hit the bell with his elbow, I take a second to realize that this is the first time I really want to move to this place - no matter how self-conscious the prospect of living together with San might make me.

I'm really moving in with San-

San opens the door. He blinks. "Oh, hey, hi." He yawns. And finally, his gaze lands on the boxes that Seonghwa, Yeosang and I are carrying in our arms. "Shit, sorry!" He immediately yanks the door wide open and jumps aside, letting us in.

Seonghwa and Yeosang walk straight to my future room - I pause in the corridor. "So... how was the party?" It's clear that he's had a good time last night - or at least that he got really wasted.

"Huh?" San stifles another yawn. "Oh. It was good. Good music. Nice people. Nothing special."

"Sounds coo-" The bottom of my box rips open. Books, a bunch of papers and some other stuff splatters down on the floor.

Well, that's also never happened to me before when I was moving.

"Oh, lemme help you." San quickly squats down to stack a pile of my books. And then he pauses. The tips of his ears turn into a light pink.

I follow San's gaze - and I freeze, horrified. Buried under some books but still visible enough is a DIN A4 picture of an almost naked man, except for his briefs that don't leave a lot to the imagination. He's got a sixpack and bulging chest muscles, and he's darkly gazing into the camera.

My calendar.

Okay, let me clarify: I didn't choose this. My little brother, who's not so little anymore, bought it as a goodbye-present for me two weeks ago. Thought he was being funny. Back then, I thought so too - especially upon watching Mom and Dad struggle to keep a neutral face.

But it isn't funny anymore now - it's just fucking embarrassing. Wordlessly, I grab the calendar and stack a handful of books on top of it before I flee to my new room.

It's so bare in here. Seonghwa and Yeosang are standing in the middle of my new room, talking and looking around, while two of my moving boxes are put aside under the window. There's a bed frame, a desk, a wardrobe, and a shelf. Nothing more. This room doesn't even remotely look like Yeosang's anymore.

I quickly put the pile in my arms down on the desk, making sure to cover the calendar's cover entirely with books. "One of the boxes ripped", I explain when I notice Seonghwa's and Yeosang's questioning gazes. "Don't worry, I've got it."

Yeah. I'm taking care of it, together with San who might find more than one embarrassing thing among those odds and sods- I hurriedly take off for the corridor again, almost bumping into San when I exit the room.

"Oh! Here you go." He hands me another pile of my stuff. This one seems to contain of nothing possibly shameful for me; it's just books for uni.

"Ah, thanks." I quickly put them down on my desk too, then I follow San back in the corridor to my ripped box. To my relief, I discover nothing worth hiding - except maybe for a pack of condoms. I hide them in my jackets' pocket before San notices.

An hour later we're finished. The room - my room - is still bare, but the floor is full of boxes. We've carried Yeosang's stuff to Seonghwa's car too - and they've just taken off to not waste any more time in moving Yeosang's stuff.

It's just me and San now, way earlier than I expected. I wasn't prepared for being alone with San already.

"I've ordered the pizzas", San announces, skipping into my room, seemingly unbothered by the fact that we are now the only two people in the whole flat, "they should be here in about ten minutes."

"Sounds good." I smile at him, and then I think back to the embarrassing situation with my porn calendar, and I blush.

San nods. "Are you hungry?"

"Of course - I've just spent half a day moving. I haven't done this much sport in ages", I joke, even though it's not true.

A bright grin appears on San's face, showing off his dimples. "Great! Should I help you with those boxes or is that too, um... personal?"

I can tell that he's also thinking about the calendar now, and more blood rushes to my face. "I've got it", I tell him.

When San has disappeared into his own room, I finally have some time to myself. Time to wallow in self-pity: I've not only got a long day of unpacking boxes ahead - I'm also afraid that I might end up exactly the same as Yeosang: falling for San. I've never really fallen for anyone ever before - but then again, also no one I've met so far had the same beaming smile as San, the same dimples, the same brown eyes... and no one I've met before had already cared that much about me before they really knew me.

Not falling for San is gonna be hard. So, so hard.