not meant to be - TMF

vii - a pianist's confession

You told him. You told him you loved him. 

That thought is enough to keep me going, all in pure rage. 

You were too late. 

I slow. 

You missed your chance. 

I can't run any further. 

I sit under the closest tree in defeat, waiting for the tears to stop. 

I wish it were raining, maybe then would my crying be masked if the sky was doing it with me. 

- 

After a few minutes, my adrenaline has slowed, and I'm fine to leave. But I couldn't, I couldn't bring myself to just stand up and walk away from the mess I've made. 

Maybe there was part of me that wished he would have chased me, that there was a chance he'd pick me over her. 

That chance doesn't come. 

I suddenly notice 4 heads hiding in a bush. Left to right, one with pink hair, followed by peach, ebony, and teal. I instantaneously recognize the other 4 band members, trying—and failing—to hide from me, waiting for the same person I was. 

That person doesn't come. 

- 

I decide to go towards my friends. I don't want them seeing me this way, so I think it's best to shoo them off and let me have some time to myself. 

"Just so you know, I can clearly see all of you." 

Milly and Jake dart up, followed by Hailey and Sean. 

"For the record, I was dragged here." Jake states in almost a questioning manner. 

"Listen. You guys are my friends, my best friends." I look at Jake. "I guess you count." 

He smiles weakly, and I continue. 

"But I'm going to ask you, to just leave me alone for a bit." 

Hailey suddenly wraps her arms around me, and my barrier of tears break once again. Following her, everyone hugs me too. 

I'm embraced by 3, or 4, of the people that I need right now. I'm so grateful for the support they give me, and despite my initial thoughts of wanting them to leave, those thoughts dissipate. 

What about Luke? You came here to run away from him, they came here to watch. You know this isn't over. 

I let these thoughts, these thoughts that have been eating me up, flow through my mind. They stop, and all I can do is allow the peace held between the 5 of us remain silent. 

- 

My brief feeling of solace is put to an abrupt halt when I see Luke in the distance, running toward us. Milly is the one to announce his arrival. 

"Luke, get out of here." 

I get a spark of confidence once I realize I have all the cards. Luke still wants to talk, and I have the rest of the club behind my back. 

"No, it's fine. I can talk to him myself." 

Sean perks up, focusing on Milly, Hailey, and Jake. "Hey guys, not to burst this bubble, but we should go." 

So much for having them by my side. 

- 

As Luke and I watch them walk to their respective homes, I loosely clutch my arms, waiting for someone to make the first strike. I have nothing else to say to him at this point, except for five words.