Home II: My Brother's Keeper

Part XI

Part XI: You say he's just friend...
[Christopher]

I didn't know what to do when it came to home and the legacy, but Lisa made shit so much better. I could really talk to her, you know? It was hard, at first, because I've never really expressed my feelings to someone, but Lisa...

Lisa, Lisa, Lisa. Shorty made me want to tell her everything. Everything was crystal clear with her, and I didn't have to worry about anything. At home, Julian was losing his mind. Boy was hot boxing it every other day, and when he wasn't high, he was irritable. I'm starting to think that the kid is bipolar, but I don't want to just put that label on him without there actually being a diagnosis.

And, ever since Lisa said something, I've been reconsidering taking on the legacy. It seems like an honor or whatever, but she's right.. I'm not trying to end up fueling the stereotypes that follow guys like me around. I'm smarter than that...

Currently, I was over Lisa's place. My head was in her lap as she caressed my hair and channel surfed. "You're even beautiful from this angle," I told her. She smirked. "Well, thanks," she said. I took her hand into mine and kissed her palm. "That's so weird," she cringed. "Why do you kiss my palm?" "Well, when I was little.. I always saw my pops kiss my mom's palm. I never asked why, but I think it just means more when you kiss someone on the palm," I kissed her palm again.

She blushed a bit as I held her hand over my heart. "Speaking of my pops, I want you to meet him," I said. "Really?" she asked. I nodded in response. "You mean a lot to me, L... And, my pops' opinion means a lot, so I just want to make sure that I'm doing something right," I looked into her eyes. "What do you mean?" she inquired. "I mean.. I just need to make sure I'm on the right path. If my pops thinks you're legit then I'm doing something right. I have clarity on something," I elaborated. "What if he doesn't think I'm--." "He will. I promise," I assured. "Okay," she apprehensively said...

I massaged her hand for a while before speaking again. "You love me, L?" I looked up at her. She smirked while glancing down at me. "Do you love me ?" she asked. "Yeah," I nodded. "What isn't there to love?" She smirked and kissed my forehead. Then my nose. Then my lips.

I savored the moment and just when she was about to pull away, I leaned up to reattach our lips. She giggled at my actions as I continued to kiss her. For several moments, we toyed with each other's lips, gently tugging and lightly biting. My heart slowly sped up its race as we switched our positions. I pulled her close as my back was against the arm rest of the couch. My hands slowly glided against her as our tongues became acquainted. Just as I starting to get hard, she pulled away. I stared into her eyes and she opened her mouth to speak but I butted in before she could say anything.

"You didn't answer my question," I said. "W-What question?" she stumbled over her words a bit, rearranging her train of thought. "Do you love me?" I restated the question. "Uh.. I... I--." "You don't, do you?" I spoke. "Nonono, Chris. You've got it all wrong," she said as I sat up and took my arms from around her. "Tell me what's right then," I demanded as she shifted the way she sat. "I.. want to love you. I really do. Hell, I might love you right now, but I'll never admit it," she said. "And, why won't you?" I stared at her as she looked down. She was silent for a few moments. "Huh?" I nearly barked. "I don't know," she finally asked. "What are you protecting your heart from? Huh? What are you protecting your heart from?" I said almost mockingly.

"You're a fucking hypocrite, you know that?" I stood and began to gather my belongings. "Chris--." "No! You're telling me to open my heart to you, but you're not doing the same," I said as she stood. "You know what? I'll accept that, but you're..." she spoke before I began to get vocal again. Our words flowed from our lips and got scrambled in each other as we argued.